Obama (Kind of) Invites Me to Run For President

It’s obvious that Obama hates his job and wants to get his ass handed to him by Mitt Romney in 2012. Only a politician who wanted to lose his next election would shoot himself in the foot as many times as he has.

Let’s go over just how badly this man wants to get out of his current gig as commander-in-chief of the dying empire:

  • First, he takes office with a shitload of momentum behind him, and uses it to push through his bizarre healthcare plan which is going to take our tax dollars and hand them over to health insurance companies.
  • Next, instead of closing Guantanamo (as promised during the campaign), he rolls over to the Republicans and keeps it open.
  • Also, instead of pulling out of Iraq and Afghanistan (never promised, but hoped for by the majority of his supporters), he simply moved 50,000 troops from Iraq to Afghanistan. I wonder how many soldiers regrettably thought to themselves “It can’t possibly get any worse than this” while patrolling the dusty streets of Baghdad only to find themselves picking up dismembered body parts on the streets of Kabul three months later?
  • Oh yeah, and then he actually sent us into a third war in Libya. America, fuck yeah.

Other items on his list of monumental failures include: rolling back EPA regulations, extending the Bush tax cuts for the rich in some insane horse trading with the right-wing fascists in Congress, imprisoning people who leak documents showing all the nasty shit our government has been up to, and just outright killing other American citizens without a trial.

So what’s latest on this list? Perhaps you’ve heard, but the Federales just announced that they aim to take down medical marijuana in the Golden State. Perhaps Obama thinks that nothing will give the U.S. economy the shot in the arm it needs more than shutting down hundreds of legitimate businesses throughout the state that employ tens of thousands of people. Or, more likely, his goal is to piss off yet another group of his supporters, thus assuring his self-destruction in the 2012 election.

The question remains: what the hell happened to this guy? He was so cool. Bring him back and get rid of the zombie who wastes our money on the Wars on Terror and Drugs.

Of course, I suppose the silver lining in Obama’s latest move is that it gives a much-needed boost to my fledgling campaign for the presidency. After all, shutting down the dispensaries in California will disillusion hundreds of thousands of Obama supporters and drive them into the tender embrace of the Ed Rosenthal for President campaign. This may come across as crass opportunism, but I pledge right here and right now to allow the dispensaries in California to stay open. I’ll go one step further (I know this is going to be a huge shock to you all, and, by the way, kudos to you for making it this far into the blog post!) and vow that as president I will END MARIJUANA PROHIBITION!

So, thank you, Mr. President, for coming to my assistance and providing me with yet another reason to run for the presidency of this great nation. Your unwillingness to act rationally and in a sane manner may end up forcing me to run in the upcoming election.




  1. Anonymous on

    “ensure continued antipathy towards the GLBT community”

    You might want to check your facts. Ron Paul’s senior adviser, who recently passed away from HIV complications, was an openly gay man.

  2. Mushroom Kingdom on

    Obama is as much to blame as anyone else. Even Bush was better than this.

    The office of the president can direct the DEA to back off. They can instruct the Attorney General to not prosecute. Thus far, he’s enabled the current czar to press on with the drug war, which includes using legal tools like property seizure to threaten and shut down dispensaries.

    The bottom line is that, as parties go, the Republicans and Democrats are both horrible.

  3. Mushroom Kingdom on

    I’m all for legalization, but seriously – Ron Paul? You’d roll back the civil rights movement, regress to the gold standard, and ensure continued antipathy towards the GLBT community on the possibility that maybe he’d legalize pot?

    Pot’s great. I’d love to grow it in peace. But being able to use my drug of choice in peace isn’t worth starting up so many other stupid wars.

    Libertarianism is a destructive delusion, and conservatism is running Canada into the ground. I suggest that we find another friendly candidate, because Paul is a crazy asshole.

  4. The Anon Collective on

    Few people actually grasp what is actually happening, ignorant to the actions that are being taken to stop the President of the US from what he would like to do. Rep. Ron Paul won’t legalize or decriminalize cannabis, or drugs for that matter. Not because he doesn’t want to, but simply because he will be stopped by others in power looking to keep the drug war perpetuating. For President Obama, killing the DEA, in my opinion, would be the topic of headlines all over, and a lot of conservatives would eat up the negatives. It is political suicide, and since the current president has been constantly berated (not disputing that others haven’t), it would make sense to steer clear of the DEA for a bit.

    Some folks can actively drown out the intelligence of President Obama, and choose to ignore the biased influences some media outlets put out. Others like to roam the internet for sources, listen to speeches and sound bites, and judge on their own. I personally prefer to use Fact Check for my info, simply because they cite sources in the form of links. I use it to see if what the Senators, the President, and those running are telling the truth. I have yet to see any bias on that website, as they check everybody fairly.

    Also, remember that “President” is a title that you use out of respect. I personally hate President Bush, with a passion like no other. But I still show that respect. And if by some random fluke of the time stream Mitt Romney becomes President, I will still call him “Mr. President”, or “President Romney”. A bit of respect goes a long way, and that goes to everybody reading this.

  5. budderbreakfast on

    To people serving years or life sentences in prison this is a very real world issue. I don’t know how you could think it is not. He also mentions the healthcare plan which didn’t bring health care to the masses you would still have to pay. He started a war in Libya just like that no check and balances. And the military assassination of an American citizen without a trial…whats more real world than that?

  6. Jetlife on

    isnt that a little rash? im a “narko pig”? For having an opinion on Ed Rosenthal Trying to run for President? That is outlandish. Im for alot of his ideals. but there alot more to this country that i call home than the drug war. i share the same exact views he does on the drug war, and im sure a wider range of topics.

    The reason why i think he wouldnt be a good president is because he seems to not even have a full grasp on whats happening in American Politics.

    Oh look today Obama Announced we are pulling out of Iraq, Libya is now over and done with, and Afghanistan is sure to follow. Promises that the President kept. things he promised to do when he was campaigning. he also brought health care to the masses, which the republican party evenetually shat on, and tore to pieces. Obama has tried and tried to help the American people but has met 100% resistance on the right hand side. just because the president wants to do certain things, doesnt mean he can just sign a piece of paper and its done. checks and balances.

    these corporations are fucked… this country is fucked… but its not because of obama. its the right wing pushing their own neo uber conservative agenda.

    when i hear Ed actually address some real world issues at hand other than the Drug war ill start to pay more attention, but until then he’s just a joke…

  7. David on

    Definitely do not want people who are anti-Ed to be on this website. Ed’s political ideas are more intelligent than Obomba or any of the Repugs. He wants an end to the drug war, US imperialism, etc. Ed has fought hard against the US drug war even when they were trying to jail him. If you disagree with Ed’s proposals for how to save America, you are basically a narko pig. go away.

  8. Jetlife on

    defintely would not want ed rosenthal to become president… talk about the crumbling of america….

  9. Anonymous on

    Spread the message and promote this message.
    1) EVERYONE that sees these links sign up and weigh in on the debate
    2) Propagate those links and ensure that everyone that sees them go to those sites.

    Too many people are blaming the President for enforcing the federal marijuana prohibition. Contact Congress (the LEGISLATIVE branch [that’s the important one when it comes to law]) via the first link. Contact Obama (the EXECUTIVE branch [until Obama vetos a passed H.R. 2306 it’s on Congress – but tell Obama anyway]) via the second link. It really is THAT easy. Participate in democracy!

  10. Anonymous on

    I looked at his record as a senator. As a senator, he:
    opposed the first surge in Iraq
    opposed domestic spying and telecom co. immunity
    opposed the first wall street bailout
    Sounds good, right? But he opposed all these thing right up to the moment of truth, then, as a senator, he voted for them.

  11. Kevin on

    I have to say I never trusted Obama from the beginning. One only has to look to his record. As for me I hope Ron Paul wins. If he does, so do we.