Presidential Exploratory Committee Update

You may have heard, but I am contemplating a run for the White House in 2012. I am still in the exploration process, but Stephen Colbert could be the deciding factor. If supported by the Colbert SuperPac I will almost certainly run.

If you would like to convince Colbert to support me please TELL HIM NOW!

Exploration is a dangerous task. About two months ago my Presidential Exploratory Committee of three, John G., Barbara B. and Dahar W., set out across the country to determine support for my campaign.

John G., was sent to check the electorate pulse along I-10 and I-40. We were receiving encouraging reports for two weeks, until he reached New Orleans. He hasn’t contacted us since.

Barbara B. was sending detailed reports of her meetings along I-80. She was sidetracked and somehow ended up in Billings, Montana, where we last heard from her. Apparently she had an “Aha!” moment and decided on a career change. I hear she is now a successful taste-tester at a popular dispensary.

Dahar W. flew to Atlanta and was supposed to wend his way up the East Coast but met his “life partner” and decided to move with him to his native Halifax, where there are few American voters.

So, after all our efforts at research we only have anecdotal reports on people’s enthusiasm. Still, my hopes are buoyed. When I explained the Party Party’s platform to the diners at my table at the International Cannabinoid Research Society (ICRS) Conference, all venerable scientists, they pledged their support, as did a random group of diners at Cheeba Hut in Denver, CO.

One of my opponents, Michele Bachmann, has claimed that she is getting her info from God, but either He needs a fact-checker or a better connection.

Another, Mitt Romney, claims superior knowledge because he has failed at several businesses. We need someone who has had a good economic season, not a handsome failure at life whose opinions are based on opinion polls, thereby avoiding the fateful thinking process.

Of course, Obama sold a lot of people a good line. But they forgot to remember that if it seems to good too be true, it probably is. His first and last unabashedly good deed as President was his inaugural concert. OK… he has done some gay rights stuff, but he’s still opposed to gay marriage and still thinks Afghanistan and Libya are good wars. I can’t figure it out. Good for what? Afghanistan is not worth one American life.

Obama is showing symptoms of MDS, Marijuana Deficiency Syndrome, a serious condition made all the more dangerous because of the tremendous power he controls over our life and death. Sadly, his attitude toward marijuana is just another symptom of his condition.

Meanwhile, I’ve been pondering domestic and foreign policy frequently. Hopefully, The Party-Party will quickly approve the platform that I have proposed, which is as follows:

1.) Legalize pot. Free the heads. Investigate the period and indict corrupt cops who violated citizen’s rights during the infamous pothibition.

2.) Close all U.S. military bases in the 80 countries where they are maintained. This is a complex operation so we will only close one a week. The first one will be in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This will be a double coup for U.S. foreign policy. We don’t need Guantanamo and if we did an environmental review we’d probably find it is an unsafe “superfund” environmental disaster site. It also houses all those al-Qaeda operatives and the innocents we’ve turned into their supporters. Leave them there so they become the Castros’ problem. The second country we will depart from: Afghanistan! We will have no more American casualties, save lots of dollars and will cease to supply our enemies with weaponry sold to them by the corrupt Afghani government. When the Taliban and al-Qaeda have no foreigners to fight, they will fight each other, even without sophisticated weapons. They will continue to fight to the death, using stones and knives when they run out of our gifts. Remember al-Qaeda’s most sophisticated weapon was a box cutter.

3.) With the military savings from not building weapons and maintaining bases, the U.S. will be able to proceed with the “Culture Inoffensive.” I’ve mentioned it before. Each week, to celebrate our troops coming home triumphantly, we will throw “The Big Cultural Event.” This is a weeklong party with concerts, theater, visual arts and sports. It will be free and will be broadcast worldwide for all the world to enjoy. The party will be held in a different city each week so every part of the country will benefit.

4.) Investigate the cause of the depression using forensic accounting investigators. Seize all tainted money that was illegally obtained by the “too big to fail” banks. Hold the perpetrators personally responsible.

5.) Re-invigorate the anti-trust laws for both domestic and multinational corporations and banks. Re-adopt laws separating banking and investment banking.

6.) Use the tax laws to encourage research and manufacturing in the U.S.

7.) End the deficit by closing corporate and ultra-rich tax loopholes. Make it more expensive for foreign corporations to do business in the U.S. What do you think? Should I buy a hat to throw in the ring? Get in touch with me on facebook. Again if you want to see me run, the best way to make it happen is to Tweet this.



  1. Dave on

    Ron Paul is a Scientology-backed, money-loving, environment-hating, TEXASS politician. He opposes the drug war and overseas wars…great, so does Ed Rosenthal. But Paul also backs unregulated earth-killing capitalism, no government assistance to assure civil rights, and the enshrinement of the worship of money and consumerism. He is no savior. Ed Rosenthal on the other hand has been teaching people how to grow marijuana for 40 years. And he stood up to the federal government and told them to fuck off when they tried to convict him for growing pot. Ed would be better than Obama or any of the Retardpulbicans. Nader would be better. Kucinich would be better. Ron Paul is backed by Scientology, which is a Narconon Nark outfit. Look it up. If you are a real pot grower, instead of just a stupid troll, you would have a lot more respect for ED, and none for Ron Small Paul. Now all you Scientologists and liberatarian money-grubbers start flaming on behalf of your boy. Because nobody believes your bullshit but you!!!

  2. Bud Grinder on

    Not just conservative, but Bible-thumping, fire and brimstone preaching, Armageddon dooming, rapture-hoping ignorant thugs. What they are ignorant of is the evil that resides in the nature and the quality of their acts.

  3. Lab Rat Joe on

    The words maybe inflammatory, but I find it disrespectful to even state that a person is doing ANY WRONG by running! Even GWB had the RIGHT no matter how wrong it was, to run for office, twice! I find it disrespectful, and unpatriotic to suggest ANYONE is harming the country by running! My GOD, TRUMP ran/is running?

    Yes, you may not agree, but I am not trying to convince you, nor am I expecting ANYONE to support Ed cuz I sayz so!

    But, do not try to convince another not to run, Ed is not Ralph! State PROS and CONS, but do not suggest he not Run! Tisk, tisk, and I am the barbarian!

  4. DT on still has the NORML petition going needing about 4,000 more signs it has 2nd page importance this week, almost DAY 30 and will help persuade in HR 2306 RP2012

  5. robert guess on

    i agree with you every one has the right to run. and i wish ed the best of luck. however you will never convince me to your side with the lack of respect and uglyness of your post that you direct to me. at least you can see i have been nothing but respectful even if i dont agree. in fact it shows the kind of character that you have to treat poorly the people you disagree with, so i the douche bag will forgive you for showing me your poor character. thanks


  6. Anonymous on

    Quick, ED, an asteroid is heading for EARTH…..!!!! There is famine in location (X)…..!!!!!

    I really do understand the desire to negotiate, but he has shone just spine ENOUGH!!! Give EM HELL!! TeaBaggers!! Call them what they are, nothing more than something in your mouth that is hairy and don’t taste good!

    Financial “dept Ceiling” !!!!! AHHH, oh, Ed Rosenthal how do you feel we spent a HUGE% of our GDP on Defense/Offense $$$$$ As a good football coach ounce said, don’t ask me who, a good defense is a good offense.

    We have had THIS posture in the world since 9/11

  7. Lab Rat Joe on

    Ed can be a… Uh, Jack… LIKE individual and stuff the cannabis plant front and center as much and as often as HE, ED F#CHING ROSENTHAL can!! Hereris gone, rest his SOUL, but we NEED a NEW gadfly!!

    Where do I donate!!! Get the picture FOLKS!!! I LIVE in MONTANA were we are having 60% of the will of our voters , from 2004!!, OVERTURNED by Repug-natards in Conserv-a-turd districts just July 1st. Huh folks, RUN ED, RUN!!! F*CK em ALL!!!

  8. Momma Kate on

    “The best candidate WHO CAN WIN should be voted for…”

    Unfortunately, “the best candidate who can win”, doesn’t necessarily do so.

    (We tried that, and Canadians wound up with a majority conservative government)

  9. Lab Rat Joe on

    What will happen is the topics important to me, lowering the “defense” budget, more like offense budget, education, oh, and a PARTY here and there to celebrate the courage and sacrifice of the men and women of this country, sign me up!

    Have some F*CKING FUN you douches!!! LIGHTEN THE F#CK UP!! People have forgotten a little of what it was/is to be a “STONER”!! I was on this “forum” talking plant sex ID using Polymerase Chain Reaction PCR and Gel Electrophoresis to determine male or female 1 week after seed germination. I left a link to my site and was ran out as a SPAMMER!

    Say what you will about Ed’s run, but leave it at that. ANYONE has the F#CKING RIGHT to RUN and you are a DOUCHE to suggest anything else!

    Joe, MBT

  10. robert guess on

    i have to admit i agree with the above post. and i really like ed. it would be better to throw support behind ron paul who has alot of the same ideas. ron has stated that we need to legalise pot and stop policing the world with our military and go back to the gold standard for sound fiscal policy. while i really really like ed and he is a marijuana hero ron paul has a better chance of winning than he does. please think about what i have said and study paul for your self then make a informed decision… thanks for reading this.


  11. Anonymous on

    Rosenthal is fucking up with this crap. There is this little thing called splitting the vote… actually, it’s a huge thing.

    If it were not for Perot, G.H.W. Bush would have won over Clinton… Perot split the ethically-conservative vote & thereby enabled a more ethically-progressive win; that was an instance where splitting the vote was a good thing.

    If it were not for Nader, Gore would have won over W. Bush… Nader split the more-moral vote & thereby enabled a more immoral win; that was an instance where splitting the vote was a bad thing.

    Rosenthal has no realistic chance of winning, by damn sight, but does have a chance of detracting some more-progressive votes: if a single voter would vote for President Obama, but instead voted for Rosenthal because Ed was on the ticket, it would work against the proposed objective. The best candidate WHO CAN WIN should be voted for, and Rosenthal is not one who can win, ergo, he should stop acting the fool & speak out for goodness in realistic ways!

    Rosenthal can & should be an ethical advocate; running for US president would go against the objective of promoting well-being because it would probably detract more progressive votes than digressive votes… splitting the progressive vote is bad, it’s that simple. Getting heard on NPR would be a better goal… getting onto the local news would be better… making YouTube videos about the ethics of pot would be better… getting on Democracy Now would be better… there are good goals, but Rosenthal running for president would do more harm than good: it’s not rocket science, it’s political science, and Ed’s hypothesis of what would happen in his experiment is utterly, completely fucked beyond the realm of good sense… I’m sorry, but he is playing with fire like someone who has either never been burned, or is beyond the point of caring about damage (the latter seems like the unfortunate case).