The Carnival of Renewal

It has been more than a year since Obama has been in office and the best thing that can be said about his administration so far is its been a mixed bag of goals, policies, and effectiveness.

In fact, I think the last really good thing that Obama did before his Marijuana Deficiency Syndrome (MDS) set in (Look, I found SCIENTIFIC PROOF!) was the great inauguration concert he threw. From Aretha Franklin, to Pete Seeger, to Yo-Yo Ma— he knew how to tug on the heart strings of every American, and even the rest of the world.

So I thought… what if we got out of Iran and Iraq– let them take care of their own problems– and we all dealt with our problems.

I had a great idea of how to do this. Have a giant lottery– I don’t mean a lottery for people, but for the two hundred biggest cities in America. All the cities’ names would be thrown into the pool and each week one city’s name is pulled out.

Now, depending on the size of the city, it would get billions of dollars- the exact amount determined by the size of the city. This money would be a one-time grant from the Federal Government (the money of course, would come out of the defense budget).

Along with the cash gift (which would be done in an organized and efficient manner, with citizen committees determining how the money is to be spent) each city would also get a concert, or a big cultural festival to celebrate the grant. There would be separate money set aside both to help local talent and craftsmen prepare for the festival. Thirty-five grants to cities, 35 great shows a year.

The idea behind this is not “Let’s do Woodstock”, but it would be something where the entire city could participate in a cultural re-awakening, and each city’s cultural nature would be a little different.

I can just imagine how this would affect the cities in the area I live- the San Francisco Bay Area- the cities are desperate; they have been cutting back programs and leaving the destitute with no options. So, a billion dollar grant for San Francisco, Oakland or San Jose would change the environment that the citizens live in and would help to start rebuilding infrastructure.

We need those joints for Obama, he is so deep into his MDS that he is unable to function in a rational manner! He has to get it together, send him a joint!