Help drug police waste time

Did you read the article on the Cannabis Culture website that explained how Hitler’s five step identification and eradication program that he used against the Jews in Nazi Germany was now being used against the marijuana culture worldwide?
I did, and it got me to wondering what it would be like if our current government and police teamed up with my neighbors who don’t like me, and used drug laws to mess up my life.

Well, I guess I don’t have to wonder anymore, and I am unproud to say that “nark on your neighbor programs” long active in the USA have moved north to my beloved country of Canada.

I just saw a press conference given by what the lapdog mainstream journalists call Vancouver’s “anti-grow-op granny,” 67-year-old Chris Taulu, who loves to go around snooping on people and then calling the police to get them busted for weed.

She was bragging about how she helped bust a grow house in East Vancouver, how she’s busted dozens of other grow ops, and how she despises indoor grow operations because they sometimes involve electricity, chemicals, mold, and children.

It is so touching to see how much Taulu, a former school teacher, loves all God’s children, except for God’s plants, that is. I have to hold back the tears, I really do; her compassion for all humans is so evident.

“Here these [pot grower]idiots are, living with a baby whose lungs and body are supposed to be developing,” says Taulu, a 33-year resident of the Collingwood section of Vancouver, who lives with her proud husband Ian. “It’s terrible what people are exposing their kids to. The problem is huge. I had a grow-op behind me, a grow op up my street, and a grow op down my street. The police took the one down behind me, and then teased me that I didn’t find it first.”

The grandlady seeks to become a media star with her pogrom against us pot growers. She’s releasing a new video, a real tear-jerker, called “Growing up in a Grow Operation,” that shows the suffering of little kids growing up with parents who like indoor gardening.

Taulu is almost a police officer herself. She directs the Collingwood Community Policing Center. If you read about the rise of Hitler’s internal secret police forces, you will see many parallels between the neighborhood centers Hitler convened to try to ferret out hidden Jews and their hiders, and this woman and her Center. Substitute pot plants and/or pot grower for Jewish person or Jewish collaborator, and Taulu for the civilian Germans who assisted the SS and Gestapo to identify people hiding in their homes, and the parallels are anything but abstract.

The only thing I can be thankful for is that I don’t live in places like Thailand or Singapore, where after they’ve identified you as a pot person, they execute you.

The very fact that police and narks like Taulu have to work so hard to figure out who’s involved with pot is proof that pot isn’t any kind of real crime. I define a crime as a physical attack on another person’s body or property, i.e., murder, burglary, theft, rape, etc.

If a neighbor’s activities are so secret that Taulu has to study their lifestyles and homes just to figure out if they are engaged in an activity, how much of a real threat to society can the activity be?

Don’t bother Taulu to ask herself such questions. She’s been very active as a grow killer for many years, and is given credit for encouraging the City of Vancouver to create its Growbusters police program, which currently is under debate because it’s totally not cost effective.

The Growbuster program is a police-citizen partnership that brings private citizens like Taulu on busts, gives them insider info on raids, and teaches them and empowers them to go house to house telling people how to bust grow ops.

If a citizen snoop knocks on somebody’s door, and the person is less than eager to hear about how bad grow ops are, or if the little narks sniff out some odors or see super bright lights, they nark the dwelling as a possible grow op. It’s a way for police to use citizens to do house to house searches.

The Growbusters program is practically run from the Collingwood Community Policing Centre. Growbuster teams involve people like Taulu, city inspectors, fire department employees and B.C. Hydro [electricity company]employees.

Squadrons of undercover cops tour Vancouver neighborhoods early each morning, targeting houses based on tips from Taulu and her nark minions. If they think they find a grow house, they obtain search warrants, force their way into the home, arrest whoever’s inside, shut the electricity off, and board the house up.

The Growbusters’ website includes pictures of grow houses, and a picture of swords, knives, and guns that the site claims are weapons typically seized in a grow bust. The site also alleges that “abused dogs” are commonly utilized as guards for grow houses.

Taulu’s Collingwood Community Policing Centre gives “workshops and tours of grow operations to real estate agents and public service providers to teach them how to recognize and effectively deal with grow operations in the Vancouver area.” This function resembles a program defeated in the USA several years ago, called TIPS, which sought to unofficially deputize delivery personnel, postal employees, meter readers, maintenance personnel, lawn and garden workers, and other private citizens so they would use their access to people’s lives to spy on people, hoping to find evidence of illegal marijuana growing.

The program was too controversial even for the United States, and was shut down after protests from liberals and conservatives.

I am ashamed to see that such a program exists in Canada. If it was too fascist for the USA, how can it be acceptable here?

Vancouver Police Inspector “Kash Heed,” (well, that’s what he says his name is, I couldn’t have made it up, ok?), is the drug war commander and Growbusters liaison for the section of Vancouver where Taulu lives, and says he’s been working with her for ten years.

He admits she has sometimes screamed at him because she was mad that he wasn’t busting more druggies.

Taulu used to think Growbusters was a waste of time because although it busts what Heed claims are ten gardens per week, few people go to jail behind the busts, and that is sooo frustrating. Taulu and her ilk probably like to see pot grower parents sent to jail or otherwise in trouble.

After grower parents have been busted, the home’s electricity shut off, kids taken away to government custody, and the house boarded up, the kids are orphans, and obviously better off than when they lived in a home where somebody was growing plants indoors, Taulu would assume.

Inspector Heed brags that Growbusters reps have taken down nearly 2000 grow ops since the program started in 2000.

2000 since 2000- that’s so sweet. Think of all those children whose parents are in jail and spending money on lawyers and losing out on the marijuana sales revenues! Obviously, being busted for growing pot benefits the parents and their children. It just seems so… logical.

Heed says Taulu is a perfect definition of what police want from citizens. She’s so damned fearless and dedicated, he says with obvious admiration. The Collingwood Center is open seven days a week, to make narking convenient.

“If I could figure out what drives Chris Taulu, I would like that because I would use it on several other people I know,” he opines.

And Taulu is quick to capitalize on how heroic she herself is. Not shy to blow her own horn, she avers that yes of course organized criminals are the only people who grow pot and sure they would like to whack her, but they’re scared to do it because if they did then the media would make them really uncomfortable about it, and the police would arrest them for GrannyNarkacide.

Ironically, she admitted to the press recently that none of those growers she’s busted has ever threatened her or done anything to her, even though she ruined their lives by getting them busted. Realizing that pot growers are very peaceful people who can be narked on and who won’t fight back with violence, she’s more than ever encouraging, “especially new immigrants,” to stop worrying about their personal safety and nark on their neighbors. What’s to lose?

“If somebody did something bad to me, you guys in the media would jump all over the grow operators, and the people within the police department, well, they take good care of me. They would find out who it was pretty quick,” she said hopefully.

Inspired by Taulu, the mayor of Richmond (a smaller community near Vancouver, BC) wants to force all owners of commercial and industrial properties to inspect buildings they own or be liable for any grow ops found therein.

He has proposed a maintenance and repair bylaw that forces management companies and other owners to peruse commercial properties once every three months for grow-ops. A bylaw forcing residential property owners to do so has already passed. All this to keep pace with the drug war step-ups in nearby Chilliwack, where a recently-passed bylaw allows authorities to hit commercial property owners whose property contains pot gardens.

Chilliwack, known for its foul air and high percentage of trailer trash fundamentalists, has collected $75,000 in fines from 131 tickets issued to 37 property owners since the bylaw was introduced in 2004, officials claim.

Near Chilliwack is the Mennonite headquarters of British Columbia, the polluted city of Abbotsford. Police there are encouraging their citizens to become amateur growbuster sleuths. They’ve conducted public meetings asking citizens to team up with a fleet of undercover offices who walk the streets of the city, searching for plants.

When I looked at literature offered to wannabe narks by Abbotsford police, it reminded me of how Hitler’s people educated Germans to identify if a person was a Jew or a Jewish sympathizer.

According to the pot grower characteristics outlined by police, almost everyone could be considered a suspect- the list of identifying features is that generic.

Look at what the Abford piglets are saying is a sure sign that someone should be suspected of growing pot:

“Rental Accommodations: Almost all marijuana growers will utilize rental property, residence & commercial to avoid damage to their own properties.

Watch for high humidity levels & alterations to accommodate the grow op.

Important Note To Landlords: Tenants may pay rent in cash and while having no known source of income, drive expensive cars and use cell phones & pagers.

Tenants may be reluctant to allow landlords to inspect their rented property and/or make arrangements to meet landlords away from the property to pay rent and/or discuss problems.

Sometimes growers leave equipment lying around the yard such as nutrient containers, pots, wiring, soil, root balls, aluminum shrouds and PVC piping.

On garbage day, a grow-op residence most likely will not put out any garbage due to the fact that grow houses are commonly used for the sole purpose of growing marijuana.

Unusual visitor behaviour: Inconsistencies in visitors to & from the residence, ranging from no visitors giving the appearance of seclusion, to frequent visitors for short time periods. Visitors will often leave one person waiting in the car while the other enters the premises.

Covered windows: Covered with black plastic, heavy curtains pressed against the windows or blinds that are tightly shut & pressed against the windows.

Condensation: Humidity inside a grow room is approximately 65% with temperatures ranging between 80 to 90 F. These conditions manifest themselves through condensation on windows.

Smells & Odors: Skunk-like odor mixed with a sweet vegetative smell or the unique smell of rotting cabbage. Also, the odor of moth balls, chlorine, manure, soap and/or air freshener is frequently utilized ways of trying to mask the smell of the operation.

Electrical humming, fans, trickling water: Some electrical components in an indoor operation create humming sounds similar to a transformer on a hydro pole.

Bright lights: High intensity 1000 watt lamps are normally used and sometimes not completely disguised. These lights are the same as used in outdoor public swimming pools, school gyms, outdoor football & baseball parks.

Localized power surges/browning: Neighbourhood residences experience unexplained power surges or power “browning” (decrease of power which dims lights & slows down appliance use) with the return of normal power flow approximately 12 hours later.

“Beware of Dog” or “Guard Dog on Duty” signs: Used to deter trespassing, protect against theft and detection by police.

History of premises: Residence and/or commercial premises have been used as marijuana grow operations in the past. Many of these rental properties are known among the criminal element as having been used for growing marijuana then repeatedly used again.

Other indicators used as props to deflect any attention by neighbours and police: Outdoor and/or indoor lights, radio and/or TV on for 24 hours, flyers left in mailbox or on the front steps, children’s toys & bikes outside without children living or seen at the residence, realty signs posted on front lawn.

Clandestine Lab Site Indicators (Methamphetamine, Speed, Ecstasy). These drugs are being produced in illegal laboratories hurriedly set up in basements, bathrooms, garages and many other places in and around a residence.

They pose a danger to our neighbourhoods by being toxic chemicals with the potential for explosions and/or fires.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Drug dealers and manufacturers have common habits, which can easily be observed.

How To Spot A Clandestine Lab Site:

Windows blackened out or curtains always drawn.

Unfriendly tenants appear secretive about their activities. Tenants display paranoid or odd behaviour; watch cars suspiciously when passing by their residence.

Coming outside to smoke cigarettes.

Frequent visitors, often driving expensive vehicles.

Frequent late night activity.

Unemployed tenants, yet they drive expensive cars, seem to have plenty of money and pay their bills with cash.

Premises have been outfitted with expensive security.

Chemical odor coming from the house, apartment, garage or detached building.

Garbage frequently has numerous bottles and containers: Acetone, Toluene, Muriatic Acid, Red Phosphorus, Ephedrine, Pseudoephedrine, veterinarian products, methanol, Rubbing Alcohol, sodium hydroxide, Ether, paint thinner, ammonia, etc.

Tenants setting out their garbage in another neighbour’s collection area.

Metal drums and boxes with labels removed or spray-painted over.

HOLY SMOKES! Just look at all the identifying features of us druggies. If you go outside to smoke or if your curtains are drawn, you’re a druggie. If you have lights on, you’re a druggie. If you’re quiet and have few visitors, or if you have frequent visitors, you’re a druggie. If you have a security system, you’re a druggie. If you’re a renter, you’re a druggie. If you leave bikes or other stuff in your yard, you’re a druggie. If you have a dog, and a dog warning sign- druggie. If you use soap or mothballs- druggie.

And the coup de grace, if your house has that classic order of “rotting cabbage,” then you’re probably running a marijuana grow operation.

Using these police guidelines as indicators, I guess damn near everybody is a druggie, and everybody should be reported!

But I like these lists because it tells me how to reverse engineer my lifestyle so that I don’t appear to be a pot grower. I can design my life and cloak my dwelling so that nosy busybodies don’t think I am a drug grower or meth lab chemist.

OK, instead of eliminating the odor of rotting cabbage from my indoor grow, I decided to grow outdoors, which is safer for me and my kids. However, I better not do it in Hamilton, Ontario corn fields. If I do, I am likely to be attacked by Constable Anna “Bull” MacPherson of the Hamilton Police Services Vice and Drug Unit.

She’s out in the fields and hovering above them in her copter, looking for the evil pot plants hiding in secluded corn fields. She’s very upset that the feisty weeds, which are planted in spring and grow virtually untended all summer, are outgrowing the corn, becoming “seven feet tall, with two-inch thick stalks.”

Think of the yield!

Corn field pot growing is done in response to the police war on indoor growing. The police don’t like the fire risk or theft of electricity (we call electricity “hydro” up here in Canada) caused by indoor grows. So we oblige them by moving our grow ops to corn fields, and then they come after our corn pot crops. What gives?

If you grow outdoors, you don’t have to buy grow lights or steal electricity. You don’t have to worry about indoor molds and odor reduction.

Problem is, you have to deal with real weather and you can only do one crop per year. And, you have to worry about some farmer finding your weed before you can get back into the farmer’s field to harvest it.

Hamilton police are pissed because last year only three outdoor cornfield pot grows were busted, and that was only because farmers reported the crops after noticing that their corn plants had munchies. The police wanted to find something on their own, dammit.

Seeing an opportunity to waste tax money and make themselves look tough while attacking plants that can’t shoot back, the Ontarian piglets are gearing up for a big copter flyover that they call “Outdoor Eradication Day.”

According to Constable MacPherson, there are enough outdoor corn pot grow operations across Hamilton’s rural region to keep police busy every day all summer long.

She is a real genius, folks; you can tell when she says you can identify pot plants because they don’t look like corn and are even a different color. Really? Wow, I never knew that!

It’s not so easy to take down those pot plants, she murmurs. The plants emit psychic plant screams when they are cut; the courageous anti-pot piglets, many of them who look like pork bellies, are grunting as they sweat their way into fields and then back out with stacks of medicine cut and to be burned, or more likely sold by police or their civilian lackeys on the street.

And because nobody knows who put the pot in the corn, there’s nobody to bust.


Just like GrandNark Taulu and other cretins who want everyone to become an informant, MacPherson has her list of what to be on the lookout for in corn country:

“Suspicious characters prowling in the area;

Unknown vehicles parked on the side of the road for short periods;

Footpaths not normally present;

Open areas surrounded by large trees;

Chicken wire, bamboo and other items on the side of pathways and trails;

Corn that has its kernels arranged in 420 patterns.”

OK! Report that chicken wire now. Protect our corn!

I got really stoned on some Emery-seed weed just now and ran out to my local pay phone with a bucketful of quarters to call the Hamilton crime-stoppers anti-pot tip line.

In my delirious stoned condition, I figured the best way to fight this nark nation shit before we are all in concentration camps is with some misleading, police time wasting, false information, and humor.

So I remembered a road’s name and features where there are corn fields. It’s way out in the boonies and hard to get to. It would take a police unit a long time to get there. What a terrible thing if they got lost trying to find the non-existent crop I tipped them off about!

I called that grow ops tips line and told them I had seen chicken wire, suspicious prowlers, and unknown vehicles. I told them it looked like there’s a pot grow in a field near a swamp on that area. I forgot to tell them that this is an area that if you hike in it, you get bugs on you that bite your genitals and cause a nasty rash.

That was tip number one.

Tip Number Two was a call to the Abbotsford police tips line after tracking down the home address of the mayor and police chief, and then I reported those addresses as possible grow ops. The tip line officer politely thanks me, and I feel like a good citizen.

I move to a different pay phone, drop in a few more coins, and call Vancouver’s tip line, to report the home of Ian and Chris Taulu as a possible drug house. Whoever I spoke with probably was not Chris or Ian. They dutifully took my tip, and thanked me for helping Vancouver rid itself of these “bad people.”

You can do it too. Why live in fear? Why not be creative and use the drug warriors’ tools against them?

You can probably find out the phone numbers for anti-pot nark lines near you. If so, please post them on the CC forums.

Listed below are the phone numbers I called. Rehearse what you’re gonna say before you call the cops, and don’t be too clever or cute, just mislead them and waste their bloody time.

You might also find email addresses for narks and their nark tip services. Remember that if you email somebody, you have to have a totally anonymous account that you set up at an internet caf?. Never do sensitive emails from your home email, from your public library account, or any other account that can be traced back to you. Internet Service Providers, MSN Hotmail, and other Internet functions are all part of the surveillance and narking network.

And remember, when phoning police tip lines, whether you’re dialing 800 numbers or numbers with regular area codes, ALWAYS call from a pay phone wearing gloves as you dial. If you call long distance, use a fresh calling card and then discard the card. After you call the cops, get the hell away from the pay phone as fast as you can. Like, pronto!

The police will tell you that you can make “anonymous calls” to them, but unless you follow the security precautions I outlined above, your call is NOT anonymous.

And as for my favorite wrinkled, snoop dog nark out there in East Vancouver- if you see Granny Taulu, give her a nice, potent hash brownie, and bid her good day.

Maybe she’ll wake up stoned and enlightened. Maybe she’ll join those of us who seek freedom for plants!

POLICE NARKLINE DATA FROM HAMILTON, ONTARIO: “To report suspicious plants, equipment, vehicles or cuttings, call 905-546-3885. To report information anonymously, call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS.”

FROM ABBOTSFORD, BC POLICE: “YOU can assist the Abbotsford Police Drug Section. If you, members of your family, friends or neighbours have suspicion regarding any of the following indicators, please contact the Abbotsford Police Department at 604-859-5225 or Crime Stoppers @ 604-855-TIPS. (604-855-8477)”

VANCOUVER GROWBUSTERS: “If you believe someone in your neighbourhood has a grow operation call 604-717-3456. Please note that all calls are anonymous. For further information on this program, please call the centre at (604) 717-2935 or reach us by email at [email protected]. Physical address: Collingwood Community Policing Centre 5160 Joyce Street Vancouver, BC V5R 4H1 Canada”