Pot belly

Pot almost always leads to the munchies, but sometimes it’s the other way around. For example, an Ohio businessman delivered pot with pizza from his downtown shop until he was arrested in June. Also, this year’s largest bust in El Paso, Texas, came when customs agents pulled over an 18-wheeler attempting to cross the border with 3,500 pounds of marijuana hidden in lettuce and strawberries.
When you traffic in hard drugs, you’re risking more than a happy meal: your ass could very literally be on the line. The Spanish-language newspaper El Nuevo Herald reports that over the last 10 years, narks have discovered heroin and cocaine hidden in aqueous solution in breast and buttock implants. The first arrest came in 1994, when customs agents noticed that one woman had an unusually large rear end.

Pot smugglers who put bud in their butts are more likely to use a non-surgical method. In April, British cops strip-searched a man and found pot in “a certain part of his body.” Apparently the fellow thought it was such good shit that he couldn’t part with it, as he promptly grabbed the package from surprised cops and swallowed it. He was later arrested for obstructing an officer.

If you don’t have the stomach for hiding bud, perhaps your pet will. A British couple were arrested last year for cruelly sewing cocaine into their pets’ stomachs, and then shipping them from Colombia to England.

Cannabis users are apparently much nicer to their pets. Take New Zealander Ivan Churcher, whose death by natural causes this June made world headlines. Churcher once defended himself on cultivation charges by claiming that most of the crop was for his domesticated wild pig, Barry, who apparently became quite tame and friendly after a few mouthfuls of weed.