Man’s Best Fiend

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Cannabis Cup '96

Growers Corner

Oppression Update

Marijuana IS Medicine


      Best Fiend

      Rabid Cops want Mad Dogs

      Customs agents in Laredo, Texas, are urging citizens to donate their most
      vicious, rebellious dogs to Uncle Sam’s War on Drugs. The agency maintains
      an elite corps of 450 drug sniffing canines that are the French Foreign
      Legion of the drug world, and they are hoping to recruit street-wise, mean
      spirited, psycho-hyper dogs into their ranks.

      The call is out for commando hounds that normal people wouldn’t want around
      the house. These are the dogs that tear things to pieces, break out of
      backyards, get into fights and aren’t afraid to bite people. Berserk dogs
      that go ballistic at the chance to fetch anything for anyone are the love-starved
      gnashing mercenaries that US Customs just loves to get ahold of and train
      into drug agents that work for dogfood and are satisfied sleeping on the
      old blanket outside.

      Carl Newcombe, director of the Canine Enforcement Training Centre in Virginia
      wants every bad-ass dog he can get, and states “We take the dregs of dog
      society and make them productive.”

      At CC we imagine that the real motive is to acquire cheap, dispensable
      attack dogs designed to take the bullet meant for a human customs agent
      during any criminal interludes at the border.

      What’s next? Sending cats into apartments to scratch up the proceeds of
      crime? Birds to poop on vehicles used to carry drugs?

      Dr Alexander Sumach