The Stoner Girls’ Guide to Method Man

CANNABIS CULTURE – I had the ultimate stoner gal pleasure of seeing Method Man live at Toronto’s Sound Academy for his Legend Series Tour on January 10, 2013. (The sound system at this venue can go fuck itself though.)

Method Man, whose full name is Clifford Smith, started out as a prominent member of the infamous Wu-Tang Clan. If you don’t know who or what Wu-Tang is … I just … really can’t even help you. Method Man is also well known for his rapping, dancing and acting alongside Redman. (“How High” is actually an excellent stoner flick and features the two of them.)

I think Method Man has one of the most enjoyable voices in the game. His flow is hot, his rhymes make me grin and his beats make me grind my teeth. Perhaps most importantly, Method Man’s dancing is absolutely fucking fantastic. Will someone get this man a dancing award please? Also, he does this thing with his tongue which he should probably get an award for. Anyone who has been with a person who can can do this knows, unfortunately for us, his wife ain’t ever leavin’ him. (Refer to Method Man and Redman, “Y.O.U.” at 2:58.)

If you listen to someone in the rap game talk about the difference between a rapper and an MC, you will hear Method Man described. Method Man controls the crowd and has each person loving every second of it. He tells priceless jokes, raps and dances his fucking heart out, is sexy as fuck, smokes mad blunts, throws shit in the crowd repeatedly and most importantly throws himself into it as well. If you were to take a sociology class and you study the concept of “charismatic authority” you would again hear Method Man described.

You know when you are in a massive crowd and the energy just gets really fucking crunchy? (Not in a good way.) Your one friend who is always causing trouble almost gets in three fights and the vibe in the room is just about to boil over? This is how shit got and then Method Man came out and it was like a wave of love went through the crowd. Thank you Method Man for making music, loving your fans and putting on a truly amazing show. I will see every Method Man performance I can, for the rest of my life. I hope every single stoner reading this has a chance to see at least one. We should all be so lucky! Heck, we should all get together and go see him and Redman in Denver for 4/20! I would kill to be at that show … if I wasn’t a Buddhist I mean.

In other news, Lesbians love Wu-Tang. Who knew eh? Lets all perpetuate the shit out of that new stereotype starting now! There we were, a bunch of dykes in different coloured Adidas tracksuits, brought together by hip hop. Basically, this was the most magical and perfect concert ever, for so many reasons. All of us there, smoking weed and pouring love out to a dude on stage who definitely deserved it and gave it all right back.

Thank you Method Man, thank you for being so fucking awesome. I got mad love to give – because of you. Your hip hop saved my life. I am a bit of a raging feminist at times but I am totally okay with worshipping men who truly deserve it. Method Man is a god.

Sucks back some bong hits as you check out some of what you missed.

Toke it easy!
Onya Ganja