Holidaze Cruise

Flash Gordon popped into BC Marijuana Party HQ and Bookstore @ 300 West Hastings, the Home of Pot-TV.Net, to visit Renee Boje’s Urban Shaman Entheobotanical Shop and pick up some Yerba Santa to ward off any coughs or flu over the holidays.
As he was leaving he happened to run into the Prince of Pot and Patron of the Rebellious Arts, Marc Scott Emery making his exit as well. Flash mentioned to Marc that he had purchased a ticket to Watermelon’s Stanjah’s event “Baked Goods:” “A free-the-weed fundraiser featuring Watermelon & Weed with munchies by Watermelons Mom; MC Crystal Precious; Comedian Irwin Barker and Dj Girl Cherise and with Burlesque Art by Maria Coletsis and an inspiring speech by Queens Council John Conroy.

There will be new D.J.s & Dancing Girls every hour as well as foxy chicks everywhere plus ‘live baking’, a cookie giveaway, prizes, mystery performances and fun for all with proceeds going towards Watermelon’s legal defence fund.

Flash urged Marc to attend Thursday December 30th at 3120 Main Street, Heritage Hall near 14th with doors opening at 8pm. Flash’s ticket was 35.00 Cdn. in advance but at the door you could expect to pay 50.00 AND have to perform a tap dance routine to Watermelons specifications.

As they parted Marc invited Flash to attend Exhale Production’s “Christmas Boat Cruise” that Marc and some of his staff were due to attend next day. He asked that perhaps Flash would like to come along to report on it. However he warned Flash he had no more tickets and would have to get him aboard when he arrived at 1:15 pm as Press. The boat he said would be at the same dock as last time.

Flash jumped at the opportunity and was down at BCMP HQ well before twelve expecting that maybe there would be a convoy of some sort to the ship. There seemed no unusual activity at HQ so flash passed the time by dropping in next door to the New Amsterdam Cafe to have a coffee and to roll a jay.

As Flash always likes to chat up tourists, he settled near a nice young couple who it turned out were from North Carolina. It turned out also, that they were going on the cruise. Flash assured them he could get them to the dock by foot as he knew it to be in bay by the Canada Place Trade and Convention center a short walk from the friendly caf? as last he had known it to be at the 1st www.tokersbowl.com.

To Flash’s great surprise and some consternation, when they arrived at the convention center the bay had been dredged and the docks no longer there! The couple volunteered that there was a number on their ticket to call for the crafts location which, thank God, worked!

Flash volunteered to pay for the cab because now he had no idea and did not want it on his conscience that he got a pair of soft drug tourists lost. It took them some searching around and there was no where for take out coffee, Flash went through several cigarettes, but finally they found their dock and boarded the gangway unmolested for tickets.

Aft was an enclosed balcony with a table laid out with shiny silver serving vessels and hot coffee was almost done perking. They entered the dining area amid ship, quite grand for a vessel, with many round tables set out for lunch with linen. At two of these tables sat around to 10 or twelve people furiously rolling up and bagging what appeared to be a huge mound of well trimmed and cured bud at the center of each.

Up forward of the dinning room was the bar, and the bartender, who seemed a mite tipsy herself, as her tip jar filled with Phatt joints and Phatter nuggs. She got Flash an orange juice and she only charged him a dollar because she needed the float money.

Flash climbed the twisty stairs past the erotic Matisse prints to the main quarters looking over the foredeck. There already was his little buddy he had last met at the Dakine protests with a big sack in front of him who offered Flash to step up for a taste.

Flash thought at first he was dizzy from the bud then realized he had not yet acquired his ‘sea-legs’ and was feeling the motion of the ship, even while still in dock. It took some getting used to as he clung to the bulwark, the railing around the deck. Making his way to the foredeck to breathe in the sea air it helped enormously to keep looking forward.

Before long Heidi from the bookstore and a couple other girls, including Marc’s Agent 99, came up stairs and announced Marc had boarded the vessel. Flash introduced Marc to the couple from North Carolina who were anxious to be photographed with Emery having first learned of the secrets of Vansterdam in the pages of Cannabis Culture.

The music filtering through the sound system was a mix of pot head favourites. Cypress Hill was dominant but Bob Marley’s soulful rendition of “No Woman No Cry” got Flash to singing along as they cast off and set sail towards the Lions gate bridge. Softly singing, Flash noticed someone else was singing along too?turned out it was a Japanese fellow that had bought a ticket for the cruise, straight off the plane from Japan where a grams 85.00 USD if you can get it.

At about that time they started handing out joints and gram baggies as well as nicely wrapped presents. Flash received a now classic Blunt Brothers T shirt but made sure to secure some gifts for their guest from so far away who appeared totally amazed and delighted with them joining Flash for a toke starboard. Marc was equally pleased to impress the Japanese traveler with a handshake as well.

Sometimes it’s hard to get a moment with Emery, surrounded as he is most of the time by beautiful woman, business, and commitments, but Flash managed to invite him to the foredeck to enjoy the view and scenery and cool ocean breeze.

“You know Marc, when you said that while in prison for a joint in Saskatoon all day you would think of your blogg writing; a certain phrase; a vision or revision, and now you don’t have time?… That’s how I write too? constantly thinking, even during the event, of a word that would go good.” Flash Stammered on.

“This is nice…” Marc sighed.

“Peaceful isn’t it?” Flash agreed, and then remained silent so they could breathe in the calm of it.

There was a scotch mist in the air. The kind of ‘rain’ Vancouverites never complain about, not really being rain at all but rather more like a light fog. They passed Lighthouse Park having gone under another bridge. Marc commented that the sulphur pits were one of few primary industries left while Flash commented that as a child in Kelowna they would jump and play in the cedar wood chips as if it were snow.

“Can’t you be buried alive in them?” Marc asked incredulous.

“Perhaps but we never did” Flash assured him. “Awfully itchy after”

“I bet!” Marc laughed as they returned to the zanity of the general quarters of the craft.

Flash was left for a while to ‘guard’ Marc and the girls table while they went for drinks. Sitting there staring forward to keep his balance, Flash found himself with terrible dry mouth and a tremendous craving for a cold coca cola to settle his stomach. It happened that the gallant steward appeared in his white ironed linen shirt.

Flash begged him if he would bring him a coke, although it was a self serve bar, as it was Flash’s duty to hold the table. After the steward had descended to get him his drink, Flash found taking off his thick homemade Maritime white sweater helped and Agent 99 returned to the table giving Flash the opportunity to run to the well appointed head ’cause he really had to go. Much relieved, he ignored a knock or two on the door.

Finally feeling so much better after washing his hands and face he opened the door and there standing politely, Flash’s drink in hand, was the obsequious steward. Flash thanked him profusely and the steward Did ask if Flash, by any chance, Flash had a ticket? But, quickly accepted Flash’s explanation he was a guest of the Prince and said he’d put it on His Royal tab.

Downstairs the entertainment had begun and Marc was called upon to make a speech, which the bookshop girl Heidi assured he had promised to keep short. Marc, this day at least, did not talk of ‘Politics’ or even of ‘Legalization’ but only described for the guests how lucky they were just to be here in Beautiful BC . That the day was truly Grand and even the weather appropriate. Emery described the scene; the calm of the ocean; the peaceful aura of the mist and the gladdened mood of the company, like a poet and did not forget to thank the organizers, Steve and Exhale Productions, or to introduce the Main Attraction Darla Devine.

Darla opened many a wide eye with her spirited dance to “Santa Baby” during which she left little to the imagination in her Christmas costume. Yes, even causing more than one lady’s eyes to flash green at the attentativeness of their escorts. Some of whom were doing there best to hang back in the recesses but could not help but sneak a peak or two near its climax.

The other way to a man’s heart, even a sea-faring man, is his stomach, and the galley was ready to serve. There in the silver vessels was laid out well cooked chicken pieces, neither to rare nor to well done. Rice or potatoes accompanied it and an array of vegetables of every description. The coffee was hot and rich; Flash’s Favourite.

Flash thought he couldn’t eat at first because of his sea legs but the smells and taste enticed him to eat. He even had seconds before the chocolate mousse cake, Nanaimo bars and brownies were served. Emery introduced Flash to a charming distinguished couple from the States who gifted Flash with some screened pressed blueberry hash but whose real interest was with the new bubble bag method of hash extraction. Flash directed them to see Bubbleman at the Melting Point Gallery on 1111 Commercial Drive or B.C.M.P Bookstore. Flash also met a strong self assured lady close to his age in an olive Blunt Brothers t-shirt and vest who, turned out, runs Green Door Tours of www.greendoorcharters.com this interested Flash who hosts his own nickel tours.

The cruise must have lasted at least three hours. As stated the sights were incredible. The total amount of bud consumed must have been record, but, gently they were returned to the dock and disembarked in great cheer; friendships made and fortified. Best of all for Flash, even after all that taxi confusion earlier? all he had to do was catch one #19 bus home, which came along right away!