Flash and Watermelon

Watermelon, www.melongirl.com, who M.C.’ed at High Times Cannabis Cups in Amsterdam and frequently performs locally in Vancouver at Cannabis catered events was arrested by the Vancouver Police, who went beyond the call of duty to make a scene of arresting this beautiful, buxom, blond, nudist performer for selling her cookies down at Wreck Beach. (Gate Six UBC) around 4:20 pm Sat. Sept 8th 2001.
Watermelon, who bares her breast in Cannabis Culture’s February/March Edition 2001, on page 27, and adorns the cover of the September 2001 Vol. 313 High Times Magazine has sold watermelon down at nudist Wreck Beach, Gate Six on the UBC campus during the summertime for years and describes herself as a nudist pot-selling comedian.

Canada’s Top Ten Most Sexiest Criminal, Weed Diva “Watermelon” has yet another postponement in her upcoming cookie controversy. The new date set for the trial is September 2nd 2004 in the new Richmond Courthouse.

“On two occasions last summer undercover officers acting in accordance with the “Watermelon Girl Sting Operation” had cleverly disguised themselves as glaucoma patients. Later they were spotted carrying milk around Wreck Beach when they solicited and entrapped me. I am now being charged with two counts of allegedly trafficking in ginger snap cookies. Don’t let this happen to your kids,” warns the Melon girl.

In spite of this watermelon has not kept a low profile. She has a cook book out with following review by G. Noel Gros;
“Her vaudeville-friendly cooking show is sublimely delish with a wry wit that favors kitsch over time-honored stoner humor that could’ve left it Half Baked or Up In Smoke. Canadian comedians Irwin Barker and Christine “Tiny” Taylor assist with six culinary delights from Marijuana Martinis to Happy Apples and Creme Demented.

In between, there’s the oddball antics of the Ta-Da Girl and Tiny’s bizarro pot puppetry with a boozing frog, bare-nekkid Barbies and a toasted teddy.”

Watermelon has also been promoting her burlesque performances with “The Electric Caesar Salad” “The Grow Show” and “The Pink show” as well as began a regular show on www.pot-tv.net and served as host and/or master of ceremonies for other fund raisers and events. Flash had seen and reviewed many of her performances and still has his account of her arrest on wreck beach by Pepi Le Peu on her site.

Outside Da kine cafe’ while he was having a chat with IceKarma, (Tiger’s, who work’s there, legal Canadian husband ), Flash noticed an extraordinarily pretty girl with blond hair like Water Melon’s and retro-style glasses like hers, groaning under the weight of her two large bags of produce.

No sooner had Flash made this observation than the Diva Watermelon, herself, joined them on the side walk from the Organic Produce Store and introduced the sprite as her young niece. “Your very lucky to have the famous Watermelon as your Auntie,” Flash commented paternally. Watermelon’s niece wrinkled her nose and sorta nodded agreement. “You ran out left me with the heaviest bags!” Watermelon scolded her once she’d joined them on the sidewalk. Flash was continuing down along Commercial Drive and knew that Watermelon’s unique pink house and pink volkswagon van was near to 1st so offered gallantly to carry some of their parcels for but the distinct pleasure of keeping company the rising cannabis comedienne star.

Watermelon waxed philosophically, in the presence of her protege’ niece, seeing herself as part of a greater picture.

She had recently been autographing copies of Cannabis Culture Magazine at Da Kine Cafe. (CC Issue 50 is adorned with a fold out cover of the curvaceous Cannabis Diva/ Comedienne reclining on a bed of , not roses, but of primo bud.) While she was there, both she and her niece, allowed the tarot card lady to read their fortunes. Watermelon said her niece’s cards were free and easy to read showing nothing but smooth sailing and happiness and fulfillment of dreams in her future. Melon Girl the warrior priestess, on the other hand, the cards predicted would have more challenges and obstacles to overcome.

All Watermelon could surmise from the two very different readings was that she was breaking the ground smoothing the way for her niece and the next generation. Flash recalled that he had consulted a tea cup reader before moving to the Coast. The lady had said; “My spirit guide is envious of you and all the interesting people you are going to meet on the coast.” “Interesting people?” Flash looked for clarification…

“Rich people? Famous People?” He needed to know further…

“Not Necessarily Rich, not even Necessarily Famous but ‘INTERESTING’ the psychic insisted.

Flash mentioned that Hilary Black had mentioned a desire to deal with the larger issues outside the Drug War and would for instance like to be putting her efforts into “Prison reform.” Prison reform was surely one issue “with people being taught to become greater criminals than when they go in” Melon diva agreed. Watermelon saw the context of the Drug War as part of a much Larger problem and that dealing with it and getting it out of the way, would solve a lot of other residual problems.

“We all work at our stations, I work at my station; you work hard and you hope that everyone else is working hard at their stations too… was Watermelons personal Weltanschauung.” If you can handle all the little details the big picture takes care of itself.” “Do the small things well and greater things will be asked of you” Flash had to agree.

Too soon they had arrived at 1st and Flash had to hand over the heavy sack of groceries back to Watermelon and her sweet young niece. “Thanks for your Chivalry!” The well known entertainer called after Flash, who grinned from ear to ear.

Please note Watermelon still owes her lawyer $3000.00 and has not even gone to trial so ?monetary donations to her lawyer are greatly appreciated.
Make check payable to

Conroy & Company
2459 Pauline St.
Abbotsford BC Canada V2S 3S1
or call (604) 852-5110