Toker’s Bowl 3

Flash hits the bongFlash hits the bongOneman, from live chat was staying at for the start of the 2004 3rd Annual Toker’s Bowl. He had invited Flash to view his pad and gave him the number to ring. Flash stood outside what appeared to be the correct address near Davie, but, there was no answer to the intercom no mater how many times he rang the buzzer. He’d taken a cab there, now it was getting late, and Flash did not look forward to the long bus ride home. Two fellows were gaining access to the building. Flash didn’t want to let the cat out of the bag concerning the secret location of the smoke friendly bed and breakfast, but,he blurted out “Excuse me do you know which number is Mind Only?” The shorter fellow at first said “No” but, Flash went on to give his name and mention Oneman.
“oh Flash!” They replied, and motioned for him to follow them onto the elevator.

“You the Flash that gave Oneman the sample of the good Pot?” They further inquired once aboard the elevator. “Got any on you?” Flash opened his tin and showed them what happened to be the very choicest buds out of his bag at home. They were suitably impressed, and showed Flash to Oneman’s double suite.

Oneman apologized, as he had left the ringer off his phone, but was glad to see Flash, better late than never. The suite was spacious, with a kitchen that even retained some supplies, a lounge with sofa, and two fair sized rooms with en suite bathroom and showers. The master bedroom provided a view of the city, like a sparkling tiara below. Off of the lounge area was another balcony with equally astonishing views. From the umpteenth dozen floor, even the revolving restaurant and needle building seemed dwarfed. Oneman used his super video cam to zoom in on a homeless person way below and far away, selling a nickel bag. Together they watched One man’s “Jackass” videos of life back in Virginia, proving that red neck party animals in the bush know how to smoke pot, too. Oneman really likes the work of la Sparka and hoped he could meet him at the Toker’s Bowl. They smoked joint after joint of Pharmer Tom’s Eh train (a cross of Train Wreck and Hero) until Oneman could toke no more. Then Flash was allowed to crash in the main bedroom and enjoy the view, while Oneman took the other room. They agreed next day to meet up at the Toker’s Bowl.

Canada Day, redubbed in Vansterdam “Cannabis Day,” July 1st, is always a banner day, as people gather at 2pm, at the Vancouver Art Gallery on Georgia and Howe near Granville Mall. Flash’s ex-wife Jill and her girlfriend Julie,who lays concrete and could probably beat any average man in an arm wrestling contest, came by to accompany Flash down to BCMP HQ early, so if they could be of any assistance, they would be available. Bill Smalls, of the Tall Brothers, had the banners and signs under control. There was no need to parade them down there this year, as he would take them in a vehicle. The guests for the Toker’s Bowl were swarming downstairs, where there was a light brunch set out, and many were still registering and receiving their passes and bowls filled with 25 varieties in one gram bags. All were alphabetized, with no hint as to strain, name, or grower. They also received a glass pipe, cap from and other goodies and favors, like grinders and papers. Marc Emery emerged from the front door of BCMP HQ like the Pied Piper leading a large delegation of visiting soft drug tourists through the streets, to the art gallery steps on the bright sunny day. Flash, Jill and Julie put themselves to work, helping Bill Smalls and Master of Ceremonies David Malmo Levine unload, and distribute the Flags and Banners, and protest signs, while, a little singed, had made it through the tragic Blunt Brother fire and arson.

Cannabis Day rally at Vancouver`s art galleryCannabis Day rally at Vancouver`s art galleryThe carnival band had already began to do its thing, playing the familiar rally tunes like “Everybody Must Get Stoned,” keeping the crowd entertained and remaining, while makeshift arrangements are made to set up the sound stage. Soon the bands are in full swing. Steve from chat showed up “joint’s 5 bucks”‘written in felt on his golf shirt. Competition was fierce, though many in the crowd offering joints at a fair price, or even baked goods of every description,and the odd one offering shrooms. The Prince of Pot handed out more than 300 joints of Eh Train and other strains. Actually not personally he had two fairies princesses helping him distribute them. Marc was almost impossible to follow as he waded among the bodies, but Flash caught up to JodieG, and she laid two phatties on him to share with Jill. Crazy Fish was there too sitting on the grass with her equally attractive blonde friend. Flash told Marc she had campaigned hard for Layton. Marc recognized her nick, and made sure she got two joints, too. Flash’s old school chum, long red haired Ray Gray made an appearance. Watermelon in full costume handed out flyers for her latest performance as a renowned cannabis comedienne from Chris Bennett and Renee Boje grabbed some shade under a tree. Dana Larsen, CC editor, was there, and said he was happy with Flash’s “Blogs,” now on the main page. There had to be a thousand people there at least at some point. For everyone that left early, there were two who arrived late.

Dave led the usual contests for signs costumes and bong hits handing out joints for prizes, and being pretty lax on the judging. The BCMP bookstore provided some certificates and novelties.

The bands were pretty hard core as hip hop and gangstah rap becomes more and more predominant. A lot of young people there, but patients from the Compassion club were in attendance too, and some older hippys in addition to the many from the Toker’s Bowl, of all ages and class.

Flash went home to rest and get out of the sun, but he had to turn right around, and zip back to BCMP HQ. He had personally asked Marc repeatedly if he could attend some of the Toker’s Bowl events, if only for the priviedge of journaling it, and promised to make himself busy, watching the door, emptying ashtrays, or whatever. Marc relented said he’d get him in to some parties at least. So, Flash had to get down to BCMP HQ, put his ear to the ground, and was late. Luckily, his pal Ed who is working on a animation Star Trek spoof with MJ man, was out from of BCMP HQ, giving direction to the Restaurant in Gastown to any stragglers. Flash knew where it was. In the 70’s it had been most popular restaurant in Gastown. The waiters would sing Happy Birthday to their patrons, and there was always a line up around the block to get in. On his way there one of Advanced Nutrient’s Hummers pulled up and gave Flash a ride, in exchange for directions. Michelle, Marc’s beautiful and efficient blonde bomb shell assistant, had made the arrangements and whole back half of the restaurant was reserved for the Bowl. Flash found Marc sitting in a princely chair at the head of a long table of mostly staff. He asked Marc if it was ok he attended “EAT!” Marc commanded. Food was laid out on platters at various points, and there was a short line to get rice,chicken, or salmon as an en tree. The shrimp were particularly good. Flash kept going back for more lemon squares, and passed them around to JodieG and Marc, and recommended them to everyone. There was no smoking in the restaurant, although people rolled and prepared their buds at the tables. However, out back, in a fenced in area, was a long kind of patio set up. When Flash wandered out there it was as crowded as two #19 buses, end to end. Everyone one had a joint in their mouth or a pipe in their hand and were passing them around faster than people could inhale. This was where the fun was. Just about everyone was out back, at one point all crowded together. Some intellectualizing,was done, but most were just laughing their asses off, at stuff that seemed funny at the time. Flash introduced Oneman to the las parka guy, and it looked like they had a good discussion and Gooey was there from the forums and wanted to Publish Flash’s next book. Richard Cowan of was humorous but insightful at the same time. The bookshop girls had ordered a drink called “dirty girls,” which as far as Flash could tell, contained a lot of gin and vermouth. There was definitely a good time to be had. Everyone seemed to agree that “c” was pretty tasty. There was one sample Flash thought kinda tasted like straw, and another so skunky, it burnt the taste buds off his tongue. Flash did a shift or two sitting with a very nice lady, watching the door, and may have persuaded some undercover cops from entering; you never really know. Flash however can’t remember how he got home; he might have gotten a ride from Pharmer Tom of High Voltage.

Advaned Nutrients hummerAdvaned Nutrients hummerNext day there was another brunch downstairs at BCMP HQ, and the atmosphere was very, very casual. There were bus trips available to Stanley Park, Kits Beach, even to Deep Cove, with that down to earth pastor guy, who led tours last year There was also a boat cruise at 11 am, which Marc Emery attended. No police escort this time. Everything was smooth sailing, and copious amounts were said to be smoked on the top most deck, with the sandwiches in the dining room largely ignored. Flash went along on the Kits Beach tour, but it was cut short after they’d smoked a couple of jays, because they had to be at the gallery on the drive to view the Degenerate art show of glassware. There was plenty of bubble to try in the volcano, at the gallery. There was also Don Kine Da Kine Cafe near by, where the Budder King was giving out Budder tokes to those Bowl goers brave enough to try. There was another boat cruise at 3 and 6 pm, and a party/reception during and after, at an historic hall The Hall originally was a police station, and is built like a fortress. The hall had been especially decorated with Canadian and Jamaican flags transposed with marijuana leafs. Marc Emery in his speech said that if indeed he was a ‘King,’ and not just a ‘Prince,’ he would make the hall his castle, the decorations so elegant. They danced, dined, and partied into the night, as clouds of pot smoke wafted up to the high ceilings.

On the next day, Flash was a little slower getting down to BC Marijuana Party Headquarters, and found many people chillin on the back patio area that Renee and Gary,the artist, had decorated with a glass mirrored fountain, plants, and tapestries. Flash heard the Advanced Nutrients Hummers were taking people to Da Kine Cafe for budder tokes, but doubted he could get a ride, and didn’t find anyone who wasn’t too stoned to take a bus with him there. Somewhat disheartened, he went out front for a cig and there he encountered none other than queens Council John Conroy ( ) with his wonderful wife. Turned out they were waiting to be picked up by an Advanced Nutrients decal ed hummer, and there was plenty of room for Flash to tag along! Conroy although not imbiding was a laugh riot and they were all a bit giddy in the souped up ride.They joked as a police cruiser passed, that the Province Paper headlines would be juicy if they were stopped. Once at Da Kine the Budder King treated them royally, although one budder toke was enough for Flash as he made his now customary route to the bathroom to grab some tissues and wash his face and neck with cold water to recover from the hit. Across the Degenerate Art show was still in full swing and a toke was to be had there as well.

That night they were to go to a secret location of a Jazz club on, for yet another dinner party. Inside there were large portraits of famous black jazz artists, and statuettes of musicians playing sax and horn. The food was excellent and of such variety, that Flash wondered if they were ordering from every restaurant in town, and just bringing it in the back door? Every time Flash went back to kitchen to hand in his plate, something new appeared as part of the smorgasboard. First Flash had lasagna, then thick Chinese noodles, slices of prime roast beef, then shrimp, bbq and honey garlic chicken wings,plus scrumptious desserts. Flash explored his surroundings, downstairs in the very basement people were tokin up a storm. Marc was down stairs, all the staff wore colorful zoot suits like gangstahs. Marc’s costume was a loud yellow and he did his best Bugsy Seagel imitation: “Seee heree Flash, keep your hands off my stash, seee” Up stairs there were two levels to eat on, and at the very top of the stairs an even bigger surprise! That’s where everyone was hiding out! There were dark leather couches everywhere, nearly all taken, and coffee tables.All were toking and the lights were dim. Flash sat on the armrest of the sofa with Kgbud, who smoked a couple bowls with him. The jazz was piped in, and sometimes people sang along. Marc thanked everyone for attending, advising them festivities started at 2pm next day at an Arabian Restaurant, for the judging and everyone was advised to sleep in get a good rest.

Maijuana man puffs toughMaijuana man puffs toughFlash met up with Pharmer Tom at Da Kine Cafe next day.He was meeting with the Vrip tech vaporisor guy and promoting Dr Hornby’s new 25 mg regulated dose of “Delta 9 “capsules. Flash had tried just one the other day and because it’s processes through the liver creating an entirely different THC enzyme, Flash was so high his roommates thought he’d never shut up and thought best thing for him was bed. It is Dr Hornby’s hope, that being able to provide a regulated dose would ease the concerns of physicians. After the requisite budder tokes they arrived later in the afternoon at the restaurant and no one barred their entry through the door. Michelle was leading the joint rolling competition for the ladies, and keeping the group entertained coaching the men in the bong competition. Kgbud, last years’ winner was in the finals, again pitted against a worthy adversary. Both received uproarious applause until finally a tie was decided upon. Kgbud came up to Flash afterwards gave him a brotherly hug and made him a gift of the bud he’d won in contest as he was soon to cross the border and had collected enough paraphernalia to bring with him; as it was,he’d spend a year in Sing Sing. Flash wished him luck and worried after him. A golden belly dancer skipped into the lounge where Kgbud and Flash were toking, causing Flash to nearly jump out of his skin, startling as it was but her beauty soon alaid his fears. Most of the lamb and rice and humus platters had been devoured but Flash wasn’t hungry. Guests wandered out to the spacious back patio area in the sun. There they mingled in groups making their final judgments on the various flavorful strains. Marc worked furiously with a calculator and his amazing knack with numbers to ring up the tallys. Finally the moment of truth arrived and Marc took the microphone to thank Michelle and the staff,and all the entrants and Judges and announced the winners:


#1 4.0755 points out of 5 average – The Lizard (Hashplant by Sensi) by the Unknown Grower
#2 3.9545 average out of 5 – Blueberry – DJ Short
#3 3.81 average out of 5 – Shishkeberry – CCK
#4 3.8086 average out of 5 – Marley’s Collie – Sensi Seed
#5 3.7962 average – Skunk Hash (SHT) – the BCMP house weed
#6 3.7073 Matanuska Tundra – Sagarmatha
#7 3.6933 Durban Poison by Dutch Passion
#8 3.6933 God Bud – Jordan of the Islands
#9 3.55 Hero – by High Voltage
#10 3.52 Romulan – by Reeferman

#11 – #23 posted later

Pharmer Tom was happy he’s been in top 10 these last three Toker’s bowl but was disappointed his Eh Train, which is crossed with Hero; was used for Marc’s personal consumption and distributed on Canada Day, instead of entered. He had thought it was the better one of the two. Sour grapes maybe, even Jordan of the Island with his fruity good God Bud only came in 8th and it’s the local favorite! Somehow the Sativas weren’t ignored this year either. Natriska the dark beauty that adorns CC#45 gave Flash a special hello, and Jodie G consented to having her picture taken holding up the chalk board with the winners. Once the precedent was set, everyone wanted their picture with JodieG and the chalk board, and she was still posing when Flash took his leave and was jetisend back to Da Kine Cafe in Tom’s collector Caddy, just to put a night cap on the day.Maijuana man puffs tough