Stoner snacks

Stoners know that all food is stoner snack food. But snack food companies also know that when people get high they also get hungry enough to grab the most convenient crunchy available.
While some munchie manufacturers just argue about whose products are more baked or fried, others have taken that extra step to appeal to the modern hungry stoner.

Try as we might to munch carrot sticks and tofu, we have all heard the siren call of Hostess potato chips ? we agreed that when we had the munchies, nothing else would do.

But that was then and this is now. What have they done for us lately? From double entendre slogans to sponsoring counter-culture events, we want to know that our snack manufacturers love and respect our herbalized ways.

We appreciate being marketed to, and as part of our ongoing exploration into pot culture pop culture, we present below a selection of snacks which are successfully targeting the modern young druggie.

Rave chips ::

Market: Jaw-grinding ravers who need something between their teeth.
Slogan: Your taste buds do a little happy dance.
Snack value: Layered up with powerful powdered flavorings, these chips will induce the massive water consumption needed for successful raving.
Marketing bonus: Naming their chips directly after the “rave” is a bold move.
Stoner Bonus: These are a special brand of Old Dutch. Holland is where pot is basically legal. Therefore, these chips must be spiked with something special!

Pop-Tarts ::

TV ad: The pop-tart itself is a skilled DJ, mixing techno sounds while appreciative fans bop on.
Market: Blazed ravers who need a quick sugar fix before dawn.
Slogan: “Go on, get some.”
Snack value: Toast with icing and a flavored sugary filling! Come on, who are you kidding? You love it!
Stoner Bonus: Can produce 18 inch flames if left too long in the toaster. Perfect for lighting joints!

Rap Snacks ::

Varieties: Master P Platinum BBQ, Pretty Willie Salsa Cheese, and Lil Romeo Bar-B-Quin with my Honey, among many others.
Slogan: “The snack with the rappers on them.”
Snack value: Each one ounce baggie gives a quick flavor hit, but the cravings soon return.
Stoner Bonus #1: The featured rappers mostly hang with Snoop Dogg and blaze phat blunts. Master P even got sued for sampling his pal’s grandma talking about pot and using it on an album.
Stoner Bonus #2: Each chip contains “not more than 2% silicon dioxide.” Growers sprinkle this stuff on soil to kill spider-mites.

Pringles ::

TV ad: A happy-go-lucky trio wanders the city to the tune of Where’s Your Head At? by Basement Jaxx.
Slogan: “Once you pop, you can’t stop.”
Snack value: Once individual potatoes molded into a single shape. Their uniformity is disturbing, yet darn tasty!
Marketing bonus: Pringles sponsors massive rave parties and events.
Music Bonus: Website lets you make your own “madcap mix with some potato munchin’ percussion!”
Super stoner bonus: The canister makes a great disposable pipe. Their website advises you to empty it out before you play, but we prefer the extra smoky flavor. Snack food that becomes paraphernalia, thereby inducing further munchies… the ultimate combination!