The Trichome Challenge

Walking through the hallway of De Melkweg, amongst a sea of ganja-smoking hempsters, I noticed a plush lazyboy off to the side. Upon closer inspection I saw it was the “Trichome Challenge” sponsored by Hempworks.
In front of the comfy chair was an odd sight: a 2 foot glass bong with a video camera mounted under the bowl, directed up at the bong-hitting challenger. The camera was hooked up to a television for all to see.

The challenge

Sit down in the chair and watch as a generous scoop of SAGE trichomes (aka kif, unpressed hash, “hippie crack”) is plopped into the bowl. The rules are explained. Simply empty the bowl and fill up the bong chamber. Clear the tube of smoke, hold it for 10 seconds, exhale and remain seated, calm, cool and collected for 1 minute. This means no snickering, coughing or wheezing! Sound daunting?

There is plenty of evidence of past victims. Photos of eyes popping out as bales of lung-busting smoke stream out of facial openings.

Fancying myself a skilled bong-hitter, and wanting to be lifted higher than the overly chemmy Cannabis Cup offerings, I was eager to accept the challenge. As a small crowd looked on, my bowl was packed, a lighter passed and the conditions for winning the challenge were laid down. Ready to start, I took one last deep breath, put my lips to the bong, and lit the bowl.

The SAGE resin glands started sizzling and bubbling as they melted into the smoke that was filling the tube. It was a long haul to empty the heaped bowl as the heated glands started coagulating into hash around the rim. I pulled out the sliding bowl, releasing the pressure, which shot the THC-laden smoke up the tube and into its next eager victim, me!

As the video-camera below the bowl attested to the crowd, my eyes began to bulge as I tried to hold onto the rich, smooth and delicious smoke from the SAGE crystals.

After the clock had ticked 10 seconds, I confidently began to exhale huge volumes of smoke. I started losing confidence as my mind was taking off to new heights, dragging my body along for the ride. As I was exhaling the last of the smoke, I snickered and wheezed a bit while I shook my head, then I calmly took deep breaths for the remaining minute.

Sitting in the plush, comfy chair, having just failed the Trichome Challenge, I viewed my losing footage from the bong-cam, while enjoying my consolation prize: being super high and finishing off the last of the bowl.