Bubble Bags Kif Boxes Extractors

Q: Have you ever taken LSD yourself?
A: No, I never have. I'm an observer in these matters, not a participant. I had an operation last year to remove a tumor that was expanding my brain in a less pleasant manner, and during my prolonged convalescence I'm not allowed any stimulant stronger than coffee.
Alas! A few months ago, however, I was almost "busted" on a drug charge. On a plane returning from Vancouver, where a university had awarded me an honorary degree, I ran into a colleague who asked me where I'd been. 'To Vancouver to pick up my LL.D.,' I told him. I noticed a fellow passenger looking at me with a strange expression, and when I got off the plane at Toronto Airport, two customs guards pulled me into a little room and started going over my luggage.
'Do you know Timothy Leary?' one asked. I replied I did and that seemed to wrap it up for him. 'All right,' he said. 'Where's the stuff? We know you told somebody you'd gone to Vancouver to pick up some LL.D.' After a laborious dialog, I persuaded him that an LL.D. has nothing to do with consciousness expansion -- just the opposite, in fact -- and I was released.
Of course, in light of the present educational crisis, I'm not sure there isn't something to be said for making possession of an LL.D. a felony.