You might think that the people leading Canada’s war on marijuana are brilliant strategists using sophisticated techniques to keep the populace in line with their anti-pot ideology. You’ll be surprised to see the weirdos, incompetents and scientologists who are really in charge.
#5 – PAMELA MCCOLL: Santa Claus revisionist
Pamela McColl is a rabid anti-tobacco activist who has been branching out into forced treatment and mandatory re-education for pot smokers.
Now I’m all for working to reduce tobacco use, but Pam’s methods are a little bizarre. So far, her biggest claim to fame is rewriting the classic holiday poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to excise any mentions of Santa puffing on his pipe.
She said she was worried that kids might follow Santa’s example and start smoking too! Because we all know how kids love to wake up early every Christmas morning so they can light up their pipes just like Santa, followed by a full day of spelunking down neighbourhood chimneys and riding reindeers off of rooftops in the hopes they will fly.
What’s next? Will Santa be forced to quit the milk and cookies, to help fight childhood obesity?
The American Library Association protested Pam’s literary butchery, saying that changing the classic poem is “an act of censorship that denies the audience access to the author’s authentic voice.”
Pam’s recently expanded her anti-tobacco crusade to include cannabis, teaming up with American new-wave prohibitionist Patrick Kennedy to promote so-called “Smart Approaches to Marijuana” – by which they mean forcing pot smokers to go through rehab before putting them in prison.
Pam hosted Kennedy’s recent visit to Vancouver, but it was a huge failure. Originally scheduled to be held at the Vancouver Board of Trade, they couldn’t sell any tickets, so Kennedy’s talk was rescheduled to a Gastown restaurant. In the end only 20 people showed up, many of whom were from the anti-prohibition movement, despite Pam’s best efforts to keep us out.
Pam might be a little loopy, but at least she’s sincere in her misguided beliefs. The next one on our list is one of those hypocrite politicians who like to attack pot smokers while snorting cocaine.
#4 – RAHIM JAFFER: Cocaine and busty hookers
Rahim Jaffer was a Reform/Conservative MP from Edmonton, who is on this list for ineptitude and hypocrisy in his campaign against marijuana.
Jaffer was an MP from 1997 to 2008, and was known to buddy up with fellow MPs Jason Kenny, Rob Anders, and advisor Ezra Levant.
The 2008 election was interesting, because Jaffer produced local radio ads against the NDP, attacking them for wanting to decriminalize marijuana.
“The Conservative Party supports drug-free schools and getting tough with drug dealers who sell illegal drugs to children,” said Jaffer’s ads. “Don’t let our schools go up in smoke. Vote Conservative.”
Apparently Edmonton voters recognize that the drug war is bad for kids, because Jaffer was defeated by the NDP, the only Conservative in Alberta to lose his seat!
What makes Jaffer’s story so full of delicious hypocrisy is that just one year later, he was caught with a bag of cocaine, while speeding drunk at 93km/h through a 50km zone. He was returning from meeting with Nazim Gillani and three prostitutes – Gillani is allegedly a Hell’s Angel’s banker, and was charged with fraud by the Ontario Securities Commission in 2012.
You gotta love it when a politician makes being anti-cannabis the pillar of their campaign, then loses their seat and gets caught drunk-driving with a bag of cocaine. This story was national news, giving journalists across the country the excuse to use the phrase “busty hookers” as often as possible, while exposing Conservative drug warriors as the hypocrites they are. Thank Rahim!
#3 – DRUG PREVENTION NETWORK OF CANADA: SCIENTOLOGIST RECRUITERS
Out of the many anti-marijuana groups you’ve never heard of, the Drug Prevention Network of Canada (DPNOC) is one of the goofiest.
First, the DPNOC website is rife with errors. Check out their page on marijuana, which has many sentences missing words and punctuation. Maybe their webmaster was drunk when he wrote it. They’ve also caught Health Canada’s disease of not deciding how spell marijuana, or is it marihuana?
But more importantly, they have very low standards in who they let run their group. Case in point: for years they had two bizarro Scientologists on their board, and no-one seemed to notice.
Anyone who knows about Scientology, knows they have numerous front organizations that they use to suck people in to their creepy organization. One of them is called Narconon, and you’ll be surprised to find out how much legitimacy you can get for your crazy religion when you slap an “anti-drug” sticker over your insanity.
Narconon is just one of Scientology’s anti-drug front groups, another is the “Drug Free Marshals” program, which is more openly part of the Scientology system. But it’s not like any Canadian police would ever get caught saluting a group like that…
Narconon tries to seem like a legitimate addiction therapy group, – even their name is designed to confuse people into thinking they are the same as Narcotics Anonymous, which they are not. But surely an organization like the DPNOC, with several cops in the mix, would be a little better at investigating who they’re working with?
Scientologist recruiters Jeanette Hay and Dr. Pierre Labonte were both on the DPNOC Board of Directors for years. It’s not like it was any secret that these two were Scientologist frauds, the DPNOC even listed their Narconon credentials on their site!
Hay and Labonte were working for Narconon Trois Rivieres, a Quebec addiction clinic that was publicly exposed on CBC TV back in 2008 as a Scientology front group. Yet Hay and Labonte were still on the DPNOC board of directors until 2011. It took Labonte finally being found guilty of “breach of ethical obligations” to get him off the DPNOC board.
The Quebec Human Rights Commission found that Narconon Trois-Riviers had been milking patients and their families for as much money as possible, while subjecting them to risky, unscientific, humiliating and degrading practices. Finally, in 2013, Narconon Trois-Rivieres had their charitable status revoked, and was forced to close the doors of their 100 bed controversial Scientology drug rehab.
Keep in mind that when Hay and Labonte go to Scientology Church, there’s an office in the back kept ready for the imminent return of L Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986. In the desk is everything Hubbard needs to get back to work, including a pack of his favorite Kool brand cigarettes. According to Scientology, lung cancer is caused by not smoking enough cigarettes.
Heck, these DPNOC guys are so desperate for support, it looks like they’d accept just about anybody on their board. Which leads us to our next entry…
#2 – GWEN LANDOLT: Anti-gay activist
While we’re talking about the DPNOC, let’s check out another one of their board members, Gwen Landolt. She’s the former President and curent Vice-President, which shows they haven’t gotten any better at screening out the crazy people from their organization. If they’re trying to appear mainstream, having Gwen as team leader doesn’t help.
Gwen’s one of those people who think that “homosexual activists” are working to legalize pedophilia and incest. She’s written that legalized gay marriage will lead to people marrying their siblings and children. She believes that homosexuality can be cured, because she knows of “former homosexuals and lesbians who now live satisfactory heterosexual lives.”
So when she tells the media that using marijuana “ends up inevitably in death, and also a terrifying death,” we know that it’s just crazy Gwen going off again.
Knowing that Gwen is leading the charge against pot smokers is strangely reassuring. If she represents the best they’ve got, then maybe we’ll succeed in legalizing this stuff after all.
But surely there’s better ambassadors than Gwen for the drug-free cause? What about someone who’s actually an official Ambassador for the BC Drug Abuse Resistance Education (DARE) program? You know, that program that tries to indoctrinate kids against cannabis by giving them good, arrow-straight role models to look up to? So how’s that working out?
#1 – DAVID HO: Prostitute-imprisoning, gun-wielding, cocaine-using billionaire
Meet David Ho, who’s such a good guy that the RCMP named him Ambassador and Advisor to DARE BC in 2013, and gave him a special award for his “support” of the drug-free campaign. In Ho’s case, support means writing big, big cheques. Other than that, Ho’s not big on the whole “drug-free lifestyle” concept.
Ho has a special love for cocaine, guns and prostitutes, so much that he has trouble letting them go! In 2012, he pleaded guilty to unlawfully confining a prostitute after a night of sex and cocaine. Oh, and he was found with over a dozen guns, including a loaded, unregistered Glock 9-mm. pistol. According to police, this was the second time they’d been called over him confining a prostitute, and the third time they’d found him in the company of prostitutes and using cocaine.
Now normally, I wouldn’t be one to judge someone’s personal preferences. But seriously? How big a cheque does he have to write for the RCMP to make him their Drug-Free Ambassador so soon after pleading guilty to all this stuff?
Quite a big one apparently. Ho is a billionaire who regularly makes it rain for the BC Liberal Party, Vancouver’s NPA and the cops. That kind of mad cash makes things go your way.
So remember kids, you too can be an RCMP anti-drug ambassador! Don’t worry if you like getting high, just write the cops a few huge cheques and the job’s yours!