Translating The Medical Marijuana Mistruths of Prairie Plant Systems

CANNABIS CULTURE – Prairie Plant Systems, currently Canada’s only legal commercial producer of medical marijuana, recently came under fire in articles published by Cannabis Culture. PPS CEO Brent Zettl was kind enough to take the time to respond.

However, while reading his response, it became evident a translator was needed.

I was happy to help:

“But at this stage we are just appreciative that Health Canada has removed the constraints against us and have opened up the medical marijuana market.”

Translation: “We are glad that Health Canada got rid of all the small-scale competition and delivered to us the medical marijuana market on a silver platter.”

“Under the new regulations, we will be able to offer patients and physicians choice.”

Translation: “Instead of an unlimited number of strains grown at home, patients can now choose from the three we offer.”

“I can tell you that historically we have had a return rate of 0.3%”

Translation: “Since we refuse to give a refund once the package has been opened, most patients can’t be bothered to waste the postage sending the crap back to us in exchange for nothing in return.”

“As of 2009, Prairie Plant Systems moved our medical marijuana production site to an undisclosed location above ground in Canada.”

Translation: “We now grow our chemically-fertilized, irradiated shwag in a less toxic site.”

“Our products are tested to pharmacopeia standards …”

Translation: “We don’t publish our results. Not even Dr. Lester Grinspoon, who was an advisor to our former parent company “Cannasat”, was allowed to see these results.”

“Extensive research and testing has shown that irradiation is a safe method for eliminating harmful bacteria and mould.”

Translation: “We can’t be bothered to cite any of the research we are relying on. Irradiation has never been tested for safety in smoked or inhaled products. It does not destroy viruses or mycotoxins. Irradiating cannabis may produce cyclobutanones, which cause cancer in rats. Irradiation destroys terpenes – an important medicinal element of cannabis. Proper organic growing also reduces bacteria and mould, but that’s more expensive and we can’t be bothered.”

For those who want the bigger picture on PPS’s waste of taxpayer’s dollars, Google “Health Canada 1500% Cannabis Mark-Up Increases Suffering of Critically Ill Canadians”.

For those who want to learn more about irradiation, Google “cyclobutanones” or “Changes in Volatile Compounds of Irradiated Fresh Cilantro Leaves during Cold Storage” or “Degradation of Monoterpenes in Orange Juice by Gamma Radiation”.

David Malmo-Levine



  1. Anonymous on


  2. Anonymous on

    David Malmo-Levine – Cannabis Activist aNd Comedian! 😉

  3. Anonymous on

    Google: “Prince of Pot – Emery & Malmo-Levine vs. ignorant dude”

  4. Anonymous on

    Thanks as always dml.

    Hey, can you upload the interview with you and mark with angry old pastor man?

  5. Anonymous on

    Great article.I couldn’t agree with you more.