How To Pass A Drug Test
CANNABIS CULTURE - Unfortunately, the United States is not a free country, and citizens are often forced to give urine or hair samples to their bosses as part of employment agreements or to police during the enforcement of draconian laws. Thankfully, it is very easy to pass these tests.
If a urine sample is requested, simply go to the nearest head shop and ask the clerk for the most powerful or popular detoxifier they have. It's important not to use words such as "drug test" or "probation" or "employment" because it's likely the clerk will refuse to sell you the detoxifier. Strict laws prohibit the sale of systems that aid in passing a drug test and if you use these words, the clerk may think you are an undercover agent attempting to make a sting.
The most expensive detoxifier is usually the best. Follow the directions exactly as instructed in the packaging. Some detoxifiers come with a toll-free number so if you have any questions, you can call for help. I've called these numbers and they're always eager to help you find success with their product.
If you follow the directions exactly, you will pass your test.
If a hair sample is required, you can usually purchase detoxifying shampoos from the same head shop. Again, follow the directions exactly and you will pass. Bleaching your hair prior to the test is also a good method. I know at least a dozen people who have passed their tests by bleaching their hair and/or using the detoxifying shampoos.
Always make sure you have ingested the urine cleaner before walking into any court appearance. It has recently become the habit of the U.S. courts to surprise-test defendants when they arrive for their hearings.
Sometimes, when a person has been arrested, as part of their bond agreement, they are instructed to immediately report for a drug test after leaving the jail. If this happens to you, go directly to a head shop, purchase the detoxifier and then go take the test.
Using these instructions will ensure you say employed and out of a cage.
UPDATE with more info
When under the jurisdiction of courts, fake organs, synthetic urines or using another person's urine does not work because the tester watches the
pee go in the cup. If the officer notices a fake penis, balloon or anything unnatural, the citizen is immediately arrested and charged with tampering and the sample is considered dirty, which violates the probation.
If nothing unnatural is observed, the sample is tested with a strip and if it's clean, the urine is flushed and is not sent to a costly lab for further testing. If the strip indicates drug use, the sample is sent to the lab for confirmation. If used properly, the detoxifying drinks always trick the test strips and often trick the labs.
Many urinalyses for employment purposes bypass the strip test and send the sample directly to the lab. In this case and if time allows, I recommend total abstinence from any drug use unless you know you are not going to be watched ... then it is safe to use synthetic urines.
To insure you purchased the correct detoxifier and are using it properly, test yourself with a home drug testing kit before submitting a urine sample to the government.
The method described above worked for me over a dozen times in the year I was on pre-trial probation. At the time, I smoked marijuana every day. This method has also worked for dozens of my friends and tens of thousands of Americans.
Barry Cooper is a former Texas narcotics officer and current marijuana activist, filmmaker, entrepreneur and regular contributor to Cannabis Culture. Find his work at NeverGetBusted.com.
Find detox kits at the CCHQ Online Store or in-person at 307 W. Hastings St. in Vancouver.