Folks, the results are in.
I had given up hope on whether I would be able to make an informed decision on my candidacy after the exploratory committee disappeared en route. It was at the World Famous Cannabis Club in Portland, Oregon where I received the revelatory answer. I was sitting at a table there and discussing the Party Party platform; You know, No more war, legalized pot, put US war criminals on trial, and an incredible huge celebration/party every week in a different city.
I was discussing this with people at the table and they unanimously said that my position makes much more sense than this regime’s. They’d rather party than fight. One of the people said that the US has a total of 139 bases overseas. I just don’t understand why we are occupying England, Germany, Uzbekistan, and why our Mid East fleet is located in Bahrain which is run by a despotic absolute monarch.
Obama is helping my campaign by continuously to alienating the very communities that got him into office. So far he’s disappointed people on the breaking point because of their mortgages , pot people, immigrants, unemployed workers, economists, ecologists, and the science community. In fact he’s running out of communities to alienate with his MDS in full swing. When we had presidents like the Bushes and even Clinton, at least they had a certain consistency of purpose that seemed reasonable given their ideology -if you could call it that in W’s case. But Obama’s only consistency is to taking half-hearted positions and directly alienating people some of his most ardent supporters.
In this campaign I’m going to cover the key issues facing America and make it my goal to put us on a different path. When I look at all the different goals that have been outlined by the Party Party, I realize that together all these goals can be quantified into a new non economic gauge: The Gross National Happiness.
Right now America isn’t a happy country and as a result most people here aren’t very happy. In the coming months I’ll outline the country’s path to happiness so that our gross national happiness gauge, which is now in the low 400s and as a credit rating wouldn’t allow us to rent a cardboard box, get into the 700s within the first 4 years.
We’ll all be happy to see our sisters, brothers, sons, and daughters come home from the 139 war bases. Wait-didn’t Ron Paul just say that? There will be further happiness when the bankers and financiers who broke US laws while betting against America, trade-in their pinstripes for horizontal stripes and return the trillions of dollars they stole back to the government. There will be more happiness when our investment in science produces millions of new jobs that will keep us as a premier industrial power while we dismantle our war machine that cost America as much as the entire rest of the entire world spends on military.
How can you help? Write to Stephen Colbert, demand that his super pac help with our campaign. Tweet him, e-mail him, Facebook him, let him know what you think. And forward your requests along to us so that we can compile a giant plea to Colbert to help this campaign with the SuperPac money we so desperately need to compete! I’m counting on you!
Post to Colbert on Facebook
go to the Colbert Super Pac site and tell him what you stand for! you can even copy the message below:
I fully support Ed Rosenthal for President in 2012 and so should you Colbert. Support the Party Party! http://edrosenthal.com