Tomorrow however, within the G-spot, in Van there is this plan handed down by ‘da man’** two different nights, two bottles of Cannabis Vodka, “an accurate comparison, of one infused with weed and the other not.”
‘Da man’ had spouted “I knew she was one of us when I hired her!” I sit and ponder this now. Am I one of them? Yes, I believe I am. So Saturday night at eight pm the vodka testing will begin.
* Freddy is Fredericton, New Brunswick
** ‘da man’ is Marc Emery
On Saturday night, April 2nd, the art department staff at Cannabis Culture Magazine lifted their shot glasses, cheered, smiled for the camera, and proceeded to swallow a most foul-tasting vodka!
It was a sample of Cannabis Vodka (retailing at $27.99 and $54.99 US, for 200ml and 500ml respectively). Contained within the Cannabis Vodka were what appeared to be 40 to 50 cannabis seeds.
This is a great marketing ploy, to display a pretty lime green pot leaf on a clear glass bottle, throw in some pot seeds for effect, and then name the brand Cannabis Vodka. But, remember it has no THC content. We would test a true Cannabis Vodka in 14 days ? a second bottle of the same, but infused with real G-13 cannabis bud!
To dispel the awful taste, we followed the strange novelty liquor with a much drier, much smoother shot of Belvedere Vodka, which sells for $47.99 CDN. Because of the price range for the Cannabis Vodka, we wanted to make an equal-value purchase of regular vodka. Belvedere, a high-quality brand, was the competetor.
Beautiful Natrishka and her boyfriend Joe hosted the tasting at her hip dance and art studio the G-Spot, in Gastown, Vancouver. The vodka testers consisted of myself, my boyfriend Eric, and the other two CC design staff, James and Alex. Also present was production manager Michael, and photographer Joseph Kamon.
The central point of the G-spot is a bronze dance pole reaching from floor to ceiling. On all walls are erotic paintings of women dancing, naked, or in bondage. There are black leather couches surrounding the dance space. Large mirrors lead your eye across the room to the serving bar. There is a much smaller side room, containing another bar and more lounge seating. The whole space is painted a shiny black from floor to ceiling, with sparkly pot leaves adorning the floor.
This night, James, Alex, Eric and myself were there to taste test, get loopy, and have fun. Joseph photographed each staff member making faces behind the vodka bottles.
“I’m seeing flashes!” Alex blurted out. James laughed and I took notes. Music belted out from unseen speakers. I began to feel overwhelmed by it all. The two large shots I downed, mixed with many joints over the course of the night, hit hard and I found myself unable to speak ? for about half an hour, I could only laugh.
Blonde bombshell Michelle Rainey (CEO and official party-planner of Marc Emery’s Hempire) and her boyfriend Jeff (the Hempire handyman!) arrived, followed by five or six of Joe’s friends. Michelle blurted out “Everyone having a good time?” We all looked up and someone yelled “Hell YES!”
I sat on the floor, and rolled a joint with Alex. It was a strong one, Big Bud, and put me a little over the edge! Talking design and marketing with Michelle must have been quite funny for her, looking back now. In between quips of changing the appearance of CC magazine, we spoke of living with Crohn’s disease, and what our astrological signs were.
I remember at one point scurrying across the hall to the washroom to pee and gather my long-lost brain. I believe I fell asleep for a few minutes sitting on the toilet! After pulling myself together, I returned to everyone in the studio, and sat with Eric on the largest leather couch to write as best I could with double vision.
Ten minutes later some were beginning to call it a night. Joseph set up for one final group shot of everyone gathered around the bar. We laughed and cheered one more time.
The drunken effect of the Cannabis Vodka was to no one’s surprise. Add in the four or five joints smoked during the course of the evening; it made for an intimate gathering and atmosphere. Greyhounds (grapefruit juice with vodka) were mixed and served. The overall consensus, however, gives the Cannabis Vodka a thumbsdown for taste. The Belvedere was, by far, a better booze for your buck!
Monday morning in the office, we discussed the Cannabis Vodka. “That stuff tasted like bong water,” James remarked. Alex and I cringed in agreement.
When ‘da man’ came in, he and Alex set up to photograph the second 200ml bottle of Cannabis Vodka as it was infused with seven grams of G-13 weed. After the bottle had the bud in it, it was stored for two weeks to allow the resin to disolve into the vodka.
On the day of the second taste-testing, we filtered out all organic matter from the tainted vodka ? seven grams of wet, brown, busted up bud, mixed with the seeds that came in the Cannabis Vodka bottle.
“It looks like urine,” I said as ‘da man’ poured the strained vodka, clear, yellow and potent with THC, back into the bottle. I wondered what kind of effect it would have on us.
James poured out 6 shots. James’s wife Marissa joined the group for this evening. A couple of us chose to prolong the agony by sipping the vodka, while others downed the large shot in one gulp. The rest waited for five minutes, until they knew the first brave shooters were okay!
The pot-infused Cannabis Vodka kind of smelled like paint thinner, definitely looked like urine, and tasted like the two combined. “It’s like weed-flavoured Tobasco and Scope!” Alex spat out. Eric began to suffer some pretty bad heartburn. However, Alex commented on how he enjoyed the organic after-taste.
The second night, as before, was rainy. But, we were relaxed, and the atmosphere inside was familiar. Within 20 minutes, the effects were being felt. It was warmth, radiating from the core, down the legs to the toes and arms to fingers. At the same time, mental calmness and clarity overtook the initial shock and apprehension of the wretched taste.
Natrishka and I discussed two paintings on the wall behind the bar, and she spoke of people preferring the one hanging on the right to the one on the left. “The woman in the left painting is in the awkward throes of orgasm,” I said. “The black brush strokes give the viewer the sense that she is shuddering in ecstacy.”
“The painting on the right portrays a woman with beautiful curves and large breasts, and her position is saying ‘come and get me.'” Natrishka added “the woman on the right is thinking; she is waiting.”
There were no extra friends who came by to visit Joe, and no other co-workers arrived either. It made for a quiet intimate gathering. Everyone was talking, smiling, dancing, laughing, and just being themselves. The photos were more candid and less orchestrated.
The second night ? and I believe all will agree ? was more successful than the first. Although tasting awful, the weed-infused tincture had a very positive effect on the crew. The participants were generally more relaxed, increasing comfort level. I found that ingesting pot, rather than smoking it, had a way of seeping into the core of my being. I radiated warmth from inside, rather than just skimming the surface of being high.
Here are the ingredients to make your own homebrewed vodka. Please visit secure.brewhaus.ca for the instructions on preparation.
25 litre Glass Carboys
Plastic Primary Fermenter
Bung and Airlock
8kg white sugar
Turbo yeast from www.brewhaus.ca
Kenmore Home Water distiller
Resin of cannabis dissolves into alcohol efficiently and does not diminish the potency of THC. Infusions of cannabinoids in alcohol are called tinctures and are adminstered by measured drops. The higher the alcohol content, the more quickly resin dissolves into the liquid.