After announcing our limerick competiton in CC#19 we received a flood of rhyming rhapsodies. Ranging from silly to profound, we giggled our way through endless entries.
They were all so good it was hard to choose a winner, so we’ve declared them all worthy of a prize. Everyone whose limericks you see below has been sent a copy of Grow Your Own Stone and a fine batch of mixed seeds from our friend Marc Emery.
So sit back, have a bowl, and chuckle yourself to lollipop-land as you enjoy the best cannabis limericks our readers have to offer. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll read them to your friends…
I’ve smoked pot all of my life,
I’m a mother, a lover, a wife.
Some think that is bad,
I find it quite sad,
That others would wish me such strife.
My friend recently got cancer,
We found that pot was the answer,
To helping her eat
And staying upbeat.
An all ’round life enhancer
I love to roll for hours,
My enthusiasm never sours
For touching my pot
I like it alot,
It has almost mystical powers.
Along with the above three were a dozen other limericks, including this gem:
So far I’ve written eight rhymes,
That I hope your judges will find,
Worthy to place
Me first in your race,
For a vial of seeds, any kind!
Rape a child, get a slap on the wrist,
Grow some pot and get the judicial fist.
How dare you get high?
Perhaps you should try
pedophilia – it’s less of a risk.
The sweet tingly smell of good weed
Fills all smokers hearts with this need:
That their friends will share,
Their dealers be fair,
And that soon the good herb will be freed!
If only more people today
Would stop hiding their stashes and say:
“I smoke up and its fun,
“It won’t hurt anyone,
“So legalize pot right away!”
I’ve a good friend goes by Mary Jane,
Who the government claims rots your brain.
But I’m skeptical ’cause
I wrote this on drugs
Plus I’ve stopped the onset of migraine.
There once was a man named Anslinger
About pot he was quite a mudslinger.
With backing from Hearst,
Claimed it was the worst,
Which we know is just a humdinger.
I live in a small community,
Here we smoke pot with impunity.
Do not like us, you see
But if busted, we’ll fight for immunity!
Marijuana! The herb is divine,
For it serves far better than wine.
Though I do love a toke
Of a good neighbour’s smoke,
I so much prefer when it’s mine!
“Dearest Doctor,” I said, “What to do?
“Marijuana serves better than you!”
He cried “What did you think?
“I am merely a shrink!
“And your payment is long overdue!”
The helicopter buzzing over my head
Awakes me from my garden bed.
I can’t let that cop
Destroy my crop,
She must grow inside instead.
I smoked the last of my weed,
A bong load is all that I need.
My friends are out too,
what will we do?
Dana, please send me a seed!
Work all day long without hope,
Stress makes it so hard to cope.
So when I get home,
I twist up a bone,
And smoke the stuff not used for rope.
I found a nice spot in the sun,
the babies I moved, one by one.
Planted with care,
Prayers of rain in the air,
Dreaming of autumn to come.
Clayton, New Brunswick
Last year I was in Tijuana
And I found some great marijuana.
I did a good deed
and brought back some seed,
So now I can smoke when I wanna.
It seems there’s an indica craze
I search for sativa for days
Though I’ll smoke what I got
My most favourite pot
Is a long-flowering version of Haze
A secret I’d like to unleash
That goes back to the days of Ganesh
Leaf trimmed from your flowers
Has wonderful powers
If sifted and pressed for hashish
Dan, Headcase Hats, New Jersey
My dad had cancer and ate
The pot in the cookies I baked
For him with love.
With help from above,
He’ll live to see eighty-eight!
Our son got caught with pot,
We went to court and fought
Against a law
That hurts us all.
The proceedings got kind of hot.