When in Amsterdam…

* Check out the Bluebird cafe. It’s easy to make hash and bud selections there because it’s all laid out in big books that you can peruse. Cool, two-level atmosphere, too.
* The Best Western Hotel Eden is a good place to stay. It’s well located, easy to find (a rare occurrence in Amsterdam), and inexpensive.

* Smoke copious amounts of hash, particularly the blond Moroccan kind.

* Look up at all the cool, old buildings.

* Look down or you might step, trip or fall into something unexpected.

* Look around or you will get smoked with a bike, a car, a tram, or all of the above.

* Check out the red-light district, a six-block stretch of debauchery that has to be seen to be believed.

* Go to the “Media” coffeeshop and ask for the “Real McCoy.”

* If you get lost just remember, “Hey I’m lost? in Amsterdam!”

PS: Remember to go through all of your belongings on the way home, because I know that if you even have .3 of a gram of pocket lint that even remotely looks like weed they will want to look in your “jailhouse wallet”, if you know what I mean.