Baseball Is Perfect For Puffing Pot

Dodgers slugger Juan Uribe’s career milestone of three homers in one game was overlooked by a mysterious marijuana hat. Uribe was holding court with the LA press about his amazing game, but it wasn’t until the news clips aired that people (not sports writer) spotted a weed leaf hat in his locker.

None of LA finest sports reporters bothered to question the choice of headgear because they were too focused on their story of Uribe’s three homer game. Sports reporters (who aren’t the most talented in the newsroom) thought they knew what the story was, a three homer game, but now there’s questions regarding Uribe’s hat.

Did a teammate plant it in his locker or is Uribe on team green and the Magic Johnson owned LA Dodgers?

All I know is when I play MLB13 The Show, I perform incredibly better the more I session during the game because baseball is about concentration. A good sativa / indica hybrid is important because you don’t want heavy lidded eyes. You need to be relaxed and to be able to focus. There’s some great cannabis strains for baseball playing. Matt Mernahuana, a lefthanded pitcher who throws 98 MPH fastball and devastating 92 MPH sinker, has a much better game the more medicated I am.

Marijuana Smoker’s Guidebook, has marijuana reviews where I actually mention my video gaming improved immensely. Video game baseball is slow, which allows for plenty of toking. When I’m getting roughed up on the mound, I’ll smoke more marijuana to regain my focus. MLB13 is not real, but when I’m buzzing and focused it’s real enough for me.

I’m not saying Uribe had just smoked a joint or three before his three home run game, but what if the hat was a sly stoner wink-wink nudge-nudge that he did. Maybe Uribe wanted to say to the sports reporters gathered around his locker,

‘I smoked a joint of really amazing Girl Scout Cookies and saw the ball really well. I was 100% relaxed in the batter box tonight and my arms felt they were a mile long. The Girl Scout Cookies really helped my swing, which made the ball explode off the bat.’ What Juan Uribe would say if marijuana was legal.

Fascinatingly, the farthest point from home plate to deep centre field at the stadium the Dodger’s play at is 420ft. Is this some kind of cannabis coincidence? No, there are several stadiums in baseball with the legendary 420 displayed in their outfields, Detroit Tigers Comerica Park, Cleveland Indians and Boston Red Sox stadium have 420 listed on their outfield walls too. Fenway Park where the Red Sox play also has a “Green Monster.” I think it's time to move Toronto's Skydome (I refuse to call it the Roger's Centre) walls back to 420ft mark. During one game I went five innings straight before an usher asked me very politely to not vaporizer during the game. I was amiable because a small cloud of cannabis smoke was languishing in the air.

With plenty of baseball players testing positive for all kinds of weird hormone enhancing drugs, which has put a black mark on their game not the game, it’s great to see a pot leaf in a locker room. Marijuana is a performance enhancing drug when used correctly, but it’s not going to end an early death.

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